wait and see

Hi again Oldsoul
I guess I'll review this work, too.
What I love about your poetry is that it's so short yet meaningful. Others have already covered spelling and things so I won't bore you by repeating it. Make sure you take into account what they've said when you write again.
I have a teeny suggestion. Maybe rearrange the fifth line. Maybe something like "We'll see who has the last laugh" I think it might flow a bit better that way. Otherwise it's great.
I absolutely love the final line! It gives me chills. It's always great when you have a really dramatic final line. Good job and I'll be looking out for your next piece.
Keep writing!

Hello! Nice work! Love its outlay (hope you understand, uhmmm...how it looks). It's pretty much like how most great poems that i see and read.
I'd like to give you some great tips which i hope will be pretty much helpful...
Please preview your work before posting. It's a great way to correct some of the crazy mistakes we tend to make. Like correcting "word" with "world" in the second stanza.
I can't see any other problem, though i'd encourage you to spice up your work with a little bit of imagery, something which a reader will forget he or she is reading, but rather, will take it more like a kind of reality, something that sticks in the head.
Otherwise, great work! You requested me to read your poem, and I like the message. Hope I get to see much of you work too.

Responding to your request in your other poem and writing a review for the ever glorious Blues Clues....

I am doing a review without reading anyone below so sorry if I repeat some stuff.

Once again very visually inviting, props ! I never seem to be able to do that with my own poems ! Was word supposed to be world in the second line ( might want to fix that).
The two lines before the end seem a little strained... try adding is between who and the and try changing set to sets . That just helps improve the fluidity of your writing.

Other than that... I think it is a nice short little poem and I wouldn't change it. Though, if it was longer and more dramatic the reader would get more of what is happening and what you are feeling. It leaves a lot of questions like.... What is so unjust? Why would "they" bow? Why is the world so blind? And as a poetry writer I know that you can not always answer all these questions and still keep such a lovely fluid piece , so just pick what you want and go for it. Nice job though.

Kat

Hello, steampowered here for a review! This will be a very short review, as there wasn't a lot to critique, but I'll try my best.

This was very short and sweet - I loved the simplicity of it. The line in bold at the end had a lot of impact, and really helped me get inside the mentality of this enslaved person. It also made me think of slavery - both the historic slave trade, and the modern slavery issues that still go on in the world today.

I only really have a couple of nitpicks for this poem:

Just wait till the day.

when the word sees.

When it's eyes are finally open

You'll see who the last one laughing.

Heya, Chrissy here for a review!

Wow, this is your first work? You should go look at mine. don't you dare! it's awful. For the first work you've posted this is awesome. Really short, so I don't know how much I can say, but it tells a story in the few words you use.

The day when the word see's.

When the world finally let us free .

You'll bow down to me.

I really like the dark ominous feel you have here. It may be short, but overall you've created a good effect that gives you that dark feeling without being depressing. One comment, I feel that your wording "when the world finally let us free." Is off and interrupts the flow of it while reading. I personally enjoyed this and that is the only semi negative I find.

Hey there! Welcome to YWS and congrats on your first published work!!
My name is the.iron.novelist and i'll be reviewing this for the first time!

So firstly, I love the atmosphere of this poem. Very dark and angry, speaking of revenge and what it feels like to crave that. Especially when you know it will come one day.

I like the format as well, the shape of it.
Some things I could see improvement on:
Grammar/punctuation-wise:

'The day when the word see's'

a) Do you mean 'world' rather than 'word'?
b) 'sees' needs no apostrophe. it isn't possessive.

c) 'its' doesn't either, although it is possessive. it's the one word that breaks the rule. "it's" is a contraction of 'it is'
d) you have a few open spaces between letters and punctuation marks that are unnecessary. be careful of these

wording:

a) "you'll see who the last one laughing"; I think you forgot a word...this is a fragment, not yet a complete sentence. I understand what you mean to say but make sure that gets across in a grammatically correct way.
b) "when the world finally let us free"; I read it as 'let's', and this made most sense to me.

You have a handle on a dramatic and somber topic, but make sure to keep it poetic while also neat. Remember to proof-read! Then you can start adding fun imagery and stuff that really makes a poem stand out to readers.

Good job for a first work! Hope you like it here on YWS and let me know if you need anything.

Rebellious and straight to the point. I like it.