liveandbreathewords

"Such a little girl, so vunerable." vulnerable; you missed an 'l' "They'll leave a little too early in the morning, the only evidence I would have in the morning would ...

This story was great, and it made me giggle-- none of that nose-flaring 'wow-that-was-funny,' but I actually laughed at my computer screen. I like how you almost had two storylines ...

I really liked this! You've implied her death and yet it doesn't seem morbid to me at all. She died doing what she enjoyed, and she went peacefully. It's obvious ...

This story seems pretty interesting-- I would love to read more of this!! Your writing style is very interesting, as well. There are a few things that I'd like to ...

Hold on I read it again and I think that you almost jump into the next scene; you should use more transitions to make it run more smoothly. I know ...

I really did enjoy this story of yours. But, I am, fortunately and unfortunately, a grammar Nazi, so let's get on with it *cracks knuckles.* First off, I'm not sure ...

This was really good!! But, I do think that you should try to put a bit more detail into the story. Answer some hidden questions in there with the words; ...

As far as I can tell, I don't really see any grammatical mistakes, but then again I am exhausted and not in my best reviewing condition. But I will try ...

This is a really good start! I am already looking forward to reading the rest of this. Not much to correct, but I do have a few nitpicks. "There never ...

'All around him, the light rustling of distant tree branches and the playful chirping of an array of Summertime birdsongs filled the air with an aura of blissful carelessness. ' ...

This was so cute! I love that you love this site so much; and it's so awesome that you already have a work up! (By the way, congrats on your ...

' “Fine have it your way.” Ash cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Come on in through the back!” ' You should place a comma after 'Fine.' ' ...

"There was a long, unpleasant silence in which Terence locked everyone of his muscles in an attempt to still his quaking body." 'Everyone' should be 'every one.' I see nothing ...

Wow. This was-wow. I have read stories of Ash and Terrence before, and I know that Terrence is a very straight-forward, blunt person. I feel so bad that he didn't ...

That was one of the best endings I have ever read and I am laughing so hard right now! Well, I'd like to say that this was another really good ...