Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Narrative

E - Everyone

I Love This Website!!!

by Corncob


On a regular weekend day

My boredom was held at bay

As I spotted an interesting site

In between ads for cooking utensils and a cute night light

Young Writer's Society

I read rather quietly

Squinting at the computer screen

I drummed my fingers on my desk, rather keen

Hoping that this site would be good

Little did I know that it would

It was better than any normal old opportunity

It was far from being jejunity

Young writers were everywhere!

Scribbling away without a care!

Now I'd already tried WattPad

That ended bad

And now here was a shining gift

My heart began to lift

As did the ends of my lips

For this site was riddled with quips

From young writers just like me

I was filled with bubbling glee

I know this poem isn't the best

But...I'm kinda obsessed!


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
113 Reviews


Points: 181
Reviews: 113

Donate
Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:44 pm
Bellarke says...



I loved how you put it as YWS!!! So creative. Did you just write it or did you have to think about it
I loved how you set it up and explained the stuff.

Best part, to me, is:
"It was far from being jejunity

Young writers were everywhere!

Scribbling away without a care!

Now I'd already tried WattPad

That ended bad

And now here was a shining gift

My heart began to lift

As did the ends of my lips

For this site was riddled with quips

From young writers just like me

I was filled with bubbling glee

I know this poem isn't the best

But...I'm kinda obsessed!"
You did wonderful, congratulations!




User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 360
Reviews: 13

Donate
Fri Feb 26, 2016 3:53 am
View Likes
captainearth says...



good work *claps*




Random avatar

Points: 784
Reviews: 5

Donate
Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:27 pm
View Likes
loolthebackpack says...



Nice job! This is a very good piece that captures exactly how you feel about this site. Very good job!




Corncob says...


Thank you!!!!



User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 256
Reviews: 37

Donate
Sat Jun 21, 2014 6:12 am
View Likes
wickedlygoodwriter wrote a review...



Howdy! very good job. i like how the words seem to flow so evenly and fell into a perfect rhythm. i really feel you captured the feelings of everyone on this site, we get to meet thousands more like us. and im glad i joined so i could read this gorgeous piece of work! dont doubt yourself, this poem is the best! ps i tried wattpad too...it sucks!




Corncob says...


Ikr, wattpad=perverted fan fictions, and like 2 good pieces of artwork :)
Thanks so much for the review, and welcome to YWS!



User avatar
120 Reviews


Points: 8686
Reviews: 120

Donate
Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:47 am
View Likes
Brunnera wrote a review...



Wow! Awesome work! This totally deserves the spotlight ;) Congrats for making it to thirty-six likes! That's a lot.
The feeling had been conveyed well in this work. It's so sincere, every word so honest, and everybody else who loves the site definitely could relate to your poem. Reading puts a smile on my face, Everything was accurate, realistic, and cleverly rhymed!

I love the ending too! :D
Great job. Getting on the spotlight a few days after you've joined the site? You show real promise.

~Brunnera




Corncob says...


Thank you so much!



User avatar


Points: 466
Reviews: 4

Donate
Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:32 am
View Likes
greatwhitespork says...



I enjoy this poem very much. The rhyming is super clever, and the part about Wattpat was super funny. Great job on this work, 1morestupidlovesong (username=hilarious). Keep it up, earn more features!




Corncob says...


Aww, thanks! :)



User avatar
60 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 60

Donate
Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:27 am
View Likes
therealme wrote a review...



Hahaha oh wow xD Yes I must agree with you. Wattpad is quite lame compared to this site. I loved the rhyming so much! :) Nice work.

I found that the rhyming towards the end slipped a little and didn't flow as good as the beginning, but the content is fantabulous! I can sense that we will be seeing more amazing poetry coming from you in the future. At least I hope so.

I agree 100% with this poem! :D




Corncob says...


Thank you so much for the review! :)



User avatar
39 Reviews


Points: 685
Reviews: 39

Donate
Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:12 am
liveandbreathewords wrote a review...



This was so cute! I love that you love this site so much; and it's so awesome that you already have a work up! (By the way, congrats on your first review star :D )

I realize that this is your first work, so I'm going to try to go through the entire reviewing process:

I see nothing in the way of spelling, but there is one thing I saw in the grammar department:

"Now I'd already tried WattPad/That ended bad"

I'm pretty sure you already know this, but 'bad' should be 'badly'; I also understand that it is a rhyming poem, I just wanted to put that out there just in case.

You also might want to stick in a few commas here and there to slow down the poem.

I do, however, love your vocabulary!

Keep writing!
~liveandbreathewords~




Corncob says...


thank you! the commas thing has been previously suggested, but im just too lazy to change that right now. ;D. Thanks for the review!



User avatar
232 Reviews


Points: 5846
Reviews: 232

Donate
Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:34 pm
View Likes
WillowPaw1 wrote a review...



Hey, 1morestupidlovesong! (By the way: amazing profile picture) WillowPaw1 here to review!

Yes! Almost everyone on this site can totally relate to this! I'm obsessed as I'm sure many others are with Young Writers Soceity. It is just simply a miracle. :D

I think you should throw in a couple commas after a few of the lines to slow the pace down the slightest bit. But good use of the exclamation points! They really live things up.

Your vocabulary is great with this poem, Such as "bubbling glee", "quips", and "jejunity".

Now, at first when I read the title and didn't see it was a poem, I thought it was gonna be some short piece explaining why you love YWS. But boy, was I wrong! It's a fabulous poem. :) Great.

Then last thing is just nitpicks.

As I spotted an interesting site
In between ads for cooking utensils and night lights


"Site" and "lights" aren't the best for ryhming; lights is plural and site is not. Maybe changing it to "utensils and a cute night light".

Young Writer's Society
I read rather quietly


I would put quotes around Young Writer's Soceity or something. At least make it in italics, just make it so us readers know that it's being read.

Scribbling away without a care!


Hmm... I'd change this line. Some writers on here are very careful in what they writer... So perhaps saying "Scribbling away with such care" might be better. I don't know. :P

Now I'd already tried Watt Pad


Wattpad is one word, and I think you should put the word "By" in front of now.

Other than that, I thought it was great!

Keep writing! I hope this helps! :)

~WillowPaw1~




Corncob says...


thank you, actually helped a lot! Yeah, I guess i had a brainfart, because I was like WHAT RHYMES WITH SITE AAAH when there are like a million things....so yeah gonna fix that ;D. Thanks for all the help!



WillowPaw1 says...


Lol, xD You're welcome :)



User avatar
229 Reviews


Points: 3545
Reviews: 229

Donate
Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:45 pm
View Likes
dogsrule5 wrote a review...



Hi, Dogsrule5 here to review.

First of all for a new writer and for a first poem, I have to say this was really good! I really think you are going to be a good writer. I really didn't find any mistakes either. Great job.

Grammar: Your grammar was good.

Rhyming: It rhymed for some lines, and some lines it didn't. I understand, because when I wrote my first rhyming poem, the same thing happened to me, and it's pretty simple to do it too. So don't worry about it that much, because I think everybody does it, unless they are a famous poetry writer! :D

Anyway back to the review!!!

Spelling: I didn't see any spelling mistake, so no misspelled words, great job!

Punctuation: I didn't see any punctuation mistake either! Yay!

For a new writer and a first poem that was really impressive, I think you will learn fast on how this site works and how to not make the mistakes most new people make. Not trying to be rude, so please don't take that the wrong way. But you will learn from your mistakes, like everyone else did or is on this site.

Well talk to you later... Keep up the good writing.
Love,
Dogsrule5




Corncob says...


thank you for the great review! I really appreciate it! If you could point out which lines didn't rhyme, because I looked through, and didn't find any that completely didn't rhyme. Don't have to if you don't want to, though. thanks!



dogsrule5 says...


Okay, I will do that if I find some time. Sorry I wasn't that specific.



User avatar
130 Reviews


Points: 2667
Reviews: 130

Donate
Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:18 pm
View Likes
Em101cats wrote a review...



What a true poem! I feel you there. Definitely am obsessed with this site. And hi, it's Em101cats here to review as always!


It was better than any normal old opppurtunity


As much as this line is true, you misspelled opportunity. Whoopsie, typo ;)


Wonderful vocabulary words! Such as "riddled," "quips," "glee," "jejune," "utensils," "keen," and so on.

I know this poem isn't the best


Wrong. This poem is wonderful. Fix this line! :D

Keep up the wonderful writing!
~Em101cats~

P.S. I am also obsessed with this site. Did I already say that?




Corncob says...


Thank you for the kind review!!!! Hey, got to keep "I know this poem isn't the best" because it rhymes with obsessed (sort of), right? ;D Thank you so much! We share our obsessiveness together!



Em101cats says...


Yes, we do! :D



puppys3117 says...


sorry but I don't x.x I like YWS, sure, but its not something I'm obsessed with



Em101cats says...


I am obsessed with any game I play a lot, so it doesn't mean I play it every second. I just play this game a lot, so I have an "obsession" :)



Corncob says...


yah ;)



User avatar
233 Reviews


Points: 19633
Reviews: 233

Donate
Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:07 pm
View Likes
Cithara wrote a review...



Yes, yes, yes.
And yes.
This poem is so genuine and I appreciate the subject of it!
I think you should, like CarbRundum stated, add a more original rhyme scheme to this poem. Make it your own, not like Dr. Seuss ;) But you did a wonderful job with the flow of the story.
You mention your heart twice in this poem, and I feel you should take one of those out so the repetition isn't there.
Perhaps instead of "My heart filled with glee" you could say "I became filled with glee" or something like that.
Cute and sweet and awesome all wrapped into one little poem.
Keep writing and just work on the nitpicks and the rhyme scheme.
:)




Corncob says...


Thanks about the heart thing, I noticed that when I was writing it, but I was about to eat breakfast and it was my first poem and i was like WHATEVER I'LL FIX IT LATER! :D Thank you for the great review, in future poems I will work on not being so Dr. Seussy :)



Thewriter13 says...


Ha, you're welcome! I'm glad I could help ;)



User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 556
Reviews: 15

Donate
Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:02 pm
View Likes
CarbRundum wrote a review...



Great poem! I love how much passion you evidently poured into writing this. Although it had a pretty generic rhyme scheme, it was still very enjoyable to read. I think that this poem could do with some punctuation (a criticism I give to all poems without punctuation. Nothing personal.) I like your diction and how you rhymed without it feeling forced (except maybe using the word ''jejunity''). I liked this poem for its sincerity and how it really came from the heart.




Corncob says...


Thank you for the thoughtful review, if you have something better to suggest for rhyming with opportunity, I'm all ears, because that was a hard one! :)



CarbRundum says...


Alas, I have no better suggestions. Given your situation, you chose the best option.




To have more, you have to become more. Don't wish it was easier - wish you were better. For things to change, you have to change, and for things to get better, you have to get better.
— Jim Rohn