kazza

This is a good story, maybe you could add more mystery to the Rose, and where it - who it had come from, I love how you explained Matt's love ...

OH MY GOSH. THAT IS SIMPLY AMAZING. My days, this is one story that would make me proud to the heavens if I had wrote that. The way you've written ...

This is a difficult to understand story - I myself am a Pokemaniac, there's nothing I wouldn't do for it, having memorized most attack moves and all Pokémon up to ...

Wow, this story really has some heart ache in it! The way you went back to another memory to remind the reader of what has happened in the past. "the ...

Love that Lozzanator - sorry, it was another book - Cherub - that had a sister named Lauren and I put some of her characteristics into you, as I always ...

Thank you !

Our Ruler - it's a name, so it is capitalized, and sorry, the Pyramid, is the last - therefore is important, I made a mistake by putting it on Last ...

I love how you've set this out, used rhetorical questions and really put out to the reader how much grief and pain the two girls have - their moments together ...

This is a good start! At the beginning, maybe you could use more adjectives for more information, and more excitement, more thrill in the middle of the Chapter. I really ...

Fabulous, I really enjoyed how you put the sword fight as the one thing that fills out her emotion and skill. The names, the attitude, the drunks at the start, ...

Hey Blackwood, this is brilliant, I really like how you describe the train!! Definitely amazing thoughts here - my advice to you for opening chapters: Excitement, some sort of difference ...