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Re: Cosmos (Outer Space) Part 1
Hi there, I will go over a few things you tend to do in your writing, that you may want to change. Then I will give you my overall impression. ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: Ramadan, A Blessed Month
This seems almost quaint. I did enjoy I must say. I used to run a sales team for solar panels in Melbourne and most of the installers were Indonesian. We ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: One of Those Days...; First Edit
Twin, I would love to review this but I shouldn't. I will say one thing though by repeating 'You know the feeling' you waste a lot of words. I think ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: Never Your Fairytale
This is the product of too much fan-fiction, six episodes of Camelot in two days, and much time spent Wikipedia-ing the Tudors. I rather like it :) Please review! Ha ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: Remembering Your Name
Here, as requested. I should tell you now I don't often critique or read poetry so I can't be as helpful as others but I will say I liked this. ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: Daddy
Wow, this is touching. Can I ask, is this true? Any way one nitpick. do you even know our favorite color? or even our day of life? You seem to ...
Jul 30, 2011 -
Re: Stardust
edit: Accidentally hit submit prematurely. OK so, the first thing I noticed was the lay out of this. I'm no expert but I think as a rule of thumb: lyrics ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: A Most Confused Hat
Hi there, I will be brief because this is pretty good as is and I don't have time to be thorough. There are four houses; Gryffendor,Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Check ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: Death of an Angel; Second Edit
Wow-zah great work Twin, loved it. I would make one suggestion if I may - keep in mind the word limit, you have only used 90 out of a possible ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: Addiction
My favourite, Flash fiction. Just one more sip I promised myself as the burgundy liquid fire swam down my throat. Okay well one more should really do it. Ah ha! ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: The monsters
Wow this is pretty amazing. I don't read much poetry but this seemed great, it's almost like a nursery rhyme. I wish I had some genuine criticism but I can't ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: Perfect
Yoda seemed to cover everything. I only have a couple of things to add. "Can I help you?" I asked her, picking up a sponge from a bucket of soapy ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: The only way (Edited)
Ah, I want to critique this soooo bad, but something is telling me it's probably not fair for me to help. All I will say is you have done well. ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: The Selective Mute Freak Lives On
It is so difficult to critique lyrics. Because most of the songs by successful musicians all read a little strangely without the accompanied music. It's an entirely different experience. That ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: Capturer of Hearts
OK let me begin by saying I never critique poetry. I never read poetry, let alone critique it. But I noticed you didn't have a title so I thought I ...
Jul 29, 2011
