innerbeauty555

Yeah, I'm not too sure I liked it. It seemed too plain to me. If you really want to write a poem about sports, be more descriptive. You need to ...

or close the phone, and I act like I care but I don't. I know every exit leads to another stage, I don't know if you did this on purpose ...

This is sweet. I have a weak spot for friendship poems. It needs a little work (expand, more description, etc.), but it's still pretty good. Keep writing. :-) -*-*--Diana--*-*-

I liked this poem a lot, too, but I agree with the person who said they didn't like the title. Perhaps you should change it to "Paint Me a Picture"? ...

Wow. This is a good piece. I liked the words you used here. I would recommend you capitalize your "i"'s, though. I also think you should combine the first two ...

Spelling/Grammar: "therer" in the first line should be "there". In the second line, you want the "their" kind of the word, not "there". "Their" shows possession. You need a question ...

Firestarter got most of the corrections I was going to make as far as spelling goes. I think on the "I some", you meant "In some" (type-o, probably ;-)). I ...

You can tell me how to fix my work when you write it. Thank you, Goodnight Hello? Why did you post this here with that kind of attitude? That is ...

Meh. I didn't like it. First of all, yes, it is good to use punctuation, but that's a personal choice. Second, why do you feel like a bird, mouse, etc.? ...

This was way too broken up. You can't have a period at the end of every line. Change some of them to commas. It's too hard to read a poem ...

I agree this should be in the "Lyrics" forum. Check out the rules for the "Lyrics Poetry" forum. They specifically said NOT to put songs here. On another note (ha ...

I disagree about the rhyming. I didn't think it sounded forced at all. It seemed to flow to me. This is a well-written poem. Capitalize "i" in the first line! ...

Um, no. This kind of stunk. Like TBR said, it was old-English style, but it wasn't the right kind of old English. It needs A LOT of work. There are ...

I've always liked the idea behind this poem, Alyssa, because I know exactly what you're talking about. Thinking about it and reading it again, though, I am seeing that the ...

Hey, this was OK. I believe you meant "aching" in the last line of the first stanza and "painful" in the third line of the second stanza. I think you ...