The true Bum

I think your poem has good potential and good meaning, but I have a suggestion. You use some words that are kind of cliche, like 'scumbag', or 'bum'. In poetry, you should always try to avoid words like those.

You have a premise here, but not a complete poem. You have a start but no finish; an idea but no end product. In fact, if you read it out loud it sounds like a rap (almost). However, I'm not saying this is bad. You have some good ideas here to retain, but the poem is lacking in power. You've done nothing to drive home your message. If you're trying to say in fact really the rest of the world is the real scum, you need to make it bloody and dramatic. Like innerbeauty said, use techniques - I think dramatic lines and hard imagery would be appliable here to get your message across. At the moment it's not saying enough to me.

Spelling/Grammar: "therer" in the first line should be "there". In the second line, you want the "their" kind of the word, not "there". "Their" shows possession. You need a question mark at the end of the third line. Capitalize your "i" in the fourth line. Also, in the fourth line, I think you want "bums", not "bum". Check over your work before you send it in!

Content: A poem about the homeless could be so more in-depth than this. Expand. Give more examples. Use poetic techniques (a.k.a. simile, metaphor, etc.). You have a pretty good idea, and I kind of like the last two lines. I think this could be a good poem if you expanded more. In other words, I like the idea, but the poem needs work.

Keep writing.
-*-*--Diana--*-*-