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inkwell

  • Poetry » General, General Re: the pilot and the girl who can't climb her way from bed

    This is beautifully done, Persy. Like always, there is such a unique air to your poetry. I can't help but enter, and it so breathable. The middle stanza doesn't feel ...

    Jul 3, 2013
  • Poetry » Spiritual, Narrative Re: Lady Mary of Shepherds

    I apologize in advance there doesn't seem to be a full reply option, or edit button for these, so if I type errors, you know why. :p I like your ...

    Mar 25, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: pits

    Actual review now! The third line should be removed for several reasons, in my humble opinion. I know you don't care or plan on altering your work, but for the ...

    Sep 20, 2012
  • Poetry » General, General Re: definition

    Persy, your voice! :) It's been a while since I've reviewed anything, so pardon my dull insights. I'd like to get out of the way my one criticism. Why must ...

    Sep 1, 2012
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: injuries

    Nice to see some poetry from you! What you've written is a tender and engaging vignette. I enjoyed it very much. It had its moments where you seemed to lose ...

    Dec 10, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Living in a Storm

    As I watch you drown in another drink I stop to bottle and collect my tears, (could be either bottle or collect, both is a bit much) You solemnly watch, ...

    Dec 6, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: My Son is Gay

    It's not perfect but I liked the way I could imagine everything happening from the dialogue alone. Mark of a good script. “Life. Um… I—I don’t really know what to ...

    Dec 5, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: That's So Gay!

    That poem was so gay. This is really mediocre and I think you know it. I read your poem before it had any reviews and didn't have the heart to ...

    Dec 4, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: pavements

    Hello, Kamas! I checked out your poem when you first posted it but wasn't sure I had much to say. Something told me I should swing by again. :) I ...

    Dec 1, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: .............

    You said this is for a competition. I'm guessing it's a slam. We can talk later about why I don't like slams (or competitive poetry in general), but for the ...

    Nov 8, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Parting

    Hello Mustard! I think by now I don't have to repeat myself, but I will. The overuse of italics puts an unnecessary burden on your work. First stanza... "I thought ...

    Nov 2, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Symphony #1

    I’d like to say I write symphonies; choral epics for unpitched voices, Making up words is cool by me when done well. The premise of this is a little bit ...

    Oct 24, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I am Michael

    You might want to format this right. Some poetry is actually written like that. I don't think this was intended though. Hey Bloodhound, welcome to YWS. Let's take a look. ...

    Oct 23, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Deleted 20

    Hey Lumi! I started reviewing this in a text file and forgot all about it. Seems as though no one else has reviewed your poem so here goes. :) Graverobber, ...

    Oct 23, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Beckon.

    Tiresome alliteration, meaningless names, and redundant repetition... You asked for it. :p For those reasons alone I'd suggest going back to the drawing board, so to speak. It's good that ...

    Oct 19, 2011


i, too, use desk chairs for harm and harm alone
— Omni