ink_on_fire

Hey vine, As OverEasy said, look at doing some reviews. :) I'll give a quick review now. First off, very short. The parentheses are unnecessary. The whole thing about a ...

Hey, I was planning on critiquing this for you but it hurts my eyes too much. Why don't you change the font, then perhaps more people will review. If you ...

Hey sara, As you are new I'll just say that members are asked to post at least two reviews before their own to keep everything at a healthy ratio of ...

Hey Sc0rpiA93, This is a very overly-used theme. By any means it is not any less important, but to deliver it the writer must be able to use originality. And ...

Hey SkaterPunk2011, I felt left out as the reader in this. As the second stanza started I wondered who it was exactly you wanted that feeling of want to come ...

Hey Ok. I'll give you an honest critique. Firstly, I enjoyed reading this. There was good imagery and the words had alot of meaning. Just a few things I picked ...

Hey... Not bad. But I truly think you shouldn't have the rhyme. It's such a strong poem and the words are so forceful that the rhyme seems to take that ...

Hey :) Welcome to YWS. Just one thing - it's in the rule book that new members review two other posts bfeore posting their own work. :) It keeps the ...

Hmm. The first line 'The sky is raining' is about the only line I like. The last line ruined it. 'Best friends. Forever' I found myself saying, 'Please end it ...

Hey Hmm. Falling. Pleading. You must stay. I need you. Forever and a day. Yuk. You have used cliche after cliche in the first stanza. Cliches are bad . Stay ...

Very nice :) I really felt this poem. I think the ending works. The last few stanzas lead up to a slight glimmer of hope and I think that's enough ...

Hey :) Welcome to YWS. Ok, now for a crit. This is quite unique. Why? Why must everyone hate me because I'm free? Or is it they hate me because ...

Hey :) Your poetry always has so much feeling in it. That's goood. lol. But I think you have to work on the flow a bit. Also try giving less ...

Hey :) First off, I understand this is a work in progress, so I'll crit as if just doing another re-edit. I started it but the wordiness hit me. Too ...

The bell at the end of the day couldn’t have been more welcome. Sarah and I pushed our way through the [s]crowed[/s] crowded corridor Wonderful again. You have a great ...