Okay, basically EVERYONE here has covered the grammar and spelling and all that stuff, so I'll just take care of the rest.
I love the simplicity of the poem, but the end was a bit...abrupt. I think you could elaborate just a little bit more on the ending. Use "forgotten" a little bit more, so it just doesn't cross the eyes once because in my personal opinion, it seems a bit lackluster.
I love the metaphors and all that stuff, but you jump from subject to subject pretty quickly. One time it's a bullet, another it's a "you're a waste of time". I think you need to have some connection throughout the verses.
Other than that, it was great. Saw some typos, but pretty good.
Points: 5214
Reviews: 150
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