guineapiggirl

This is lovely. I really enjoyed it. Each line is rather wonderful, and I don't really have much to suggest. 'And every syllable takes wing' I think you need an ...

'Storm clouds boiled, black and menacing, convulsing and spitting out their rage. Lightning flashed, hail broke against the ground, and thunder boomed with ear-shattering pressure. Atarin struggled fo

'Juliana woke up in the middle of the night with her body trembling from a nightmare about her brother fighting in a war.' This sentence feels awkward. Very awkward. It ...

Very interesting. Hmmm... I don't think the italics on the 'he' are necessary. I think you can leave the reader to do the 'bam bam BAM' in their mind. I ...

"Miranda shot up, her face pouring with sweat, her hair wet also. She wiped her face with her small, delicate hands, and glanced over to the clock on her bed-side ...

This is a very interesting poem, and I found it quite humorous to read. It sounds like it's written by someone who's hurt someone close to them and is very ...

The night before? What? Dun dun dun! Must read next chapter now! Anyways, I thought this a decent piece of work, though not as good as the prologue. Conswise, I ...

Amazing. You really get the feeling that she's slightly crazy. And then the end is just like- oh wow. This is actually incredible. Few lines a bit awkward- I have ...

I LOVE THIS! I really enjoyed reading it. You have a great writing style and from what I've gathered you've got a good world going here. I think the prologue's ...

I really hope you're not speaking from personal experience, and if you are then I'm really sorry about that. I hope you don't feel like that anymore. This is a ...

Lovely, truly lovely... This touched me, which never happens! Loving the chorus. Very nice. Beautiful. But love will always carry us, Throughout each trecherous day. His Word will always save ...

Hate, poverty, filth, desire... This was all rather depressing! Hard to follow and very repetitive- Every verse is saying pretty much the same thing, apart from the last two, which ...

I enjoyed this. It put meaning into taking a shower. That was sort of funny, in a really good, meaningful way. Anyway, I think you should just cut all the ...

I like this poem. An ancient ship set out for the end The sail is raised, all men aboard. There are decks to sweep, duties to tend, There is no ...

Hello, I really like the story of Ruth and thought that this was a good dramatisation of it, sticking to the story. I enjoyed reading it. However, there were some ...