gamechanger10

this was a very good piece. well crafted and perfectly descriptive... i agree with ihighton that your paragraphs were a bit long...that could really bother certain people, it didnt bother ...

alright, so you didn't have to point out the fact that it wasn't supposed to rhyme... that part was pretty obvious. now for the actual poem... this didn't really do ...

this was a pretty good poem... umm...your third and fourth lines are the only ones that don't rhyme... maybe you tried that, i don't know its your little poem thing, ...

pretty good...really good actually...well, until the end. the last line--for me--was sort of...i don't know how to describe it...just strange... it was kind of like, well, yeah...of course...you know.

most of the advice and stuff (sorry mrs. kelly, i said a vague word...and sorry mrs. harms, i think i spelled vague wrong) the i could give you has already ...

this was a great beginning. it left some of it open and at the same time clearly stated the problem from several different perspectives. i agree with some of the ...

billy already covered most of the grammar and spelling issues, etc. one this that REALLY bothered me was the fact that you used the Canaby Sisters WAY too much. it ...

the house moves under your feet. groaning,swaying flowing to the beat the stairs you enter take you below where the ordinary man would not go. the objects change, but the ...

well, this story or part of a story or--whatever--branched off from what i thought was the main topic... i'm not sure what you were trying to do with this... you ...

ok, so, despite my involvement in the creation (ha. not really. the last couple lines), this poem was pretty good...but just pretty good. the rhymes fit, but you lose the ...

okay, i'm sorry to say that--as with hobbes this went virtually nowhere with me...and doesn't seem like it's going anywhere with the story. you use repitition A LOT...and its somewhat ...

WOW S.H.! You're stuff just keeps getting better! I really liked this and the idea of how it raises awareness to some things that go completely unnoticed! Thanks for the ...

This is a good poem. you don't really keep up the same rhyming pattern through the whole thing...that's the only problem i can find. i didn't check for spelling and ...

Welcome to YWS! by the way, hobbes is right. you need to post 2 reviews quick before the mods get you. if you already did, then they weren't long enough. ...

uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm...okay, M.J.... this was um...another interesting poem... joey's sitting beside me saying it makes no sense...but i'm not sure if he read all of it... its relatively abstract in h