Always struggling to find a way,
To make words fit together.
I try my hardest everyday,
But nothing ever works for me.
Someday they'll be as one,
Just wait and you will see.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Nolan- Thank you!!
Wojovox- That's a nice story. I don't know if nice should be used to describe it, but it relates to the poem, like you said.
m m m.
i liked this.
it was strangely poetic, without quite painting a picture.
it kind of describes how every writer feels at one point or another.
bravo!
reminds me of English class in 9th grade, freshman year of high school, when my teacher wanted us to write a short poem or story about anything. She asked us to just be creative. I remember exactly what she said, "If you can't figure out anything to write about, come see me and I'll give you a topic"
I raised my hand and said, "If we can't figure out what to write about, Couldn't we just write about that?"
seemed to strike a chord with everyone in the classroom. half the poems where about us trying to find ourselves through words and poetry. Or as I like to say now, creating ourselves.
But that's what I'm getting here. If you keep thinking about being able to write, eventually you will. It just takes will like everything.
Thank you for commenting on my poem!
haha. Thank you for your ideas to make my writing better.
Veracelle: None taken
Gamechanger10: HAHA!! Thanks. I'll work on my "flowbreaks". Or..at least try not to have them.
Lady_Vampira: I kinda know what you mean. It's leaning toward the bland side a bit, I think.
It is... okay. the rhymes FIT and everything, but there's not emotion, no feeling, no flow or scene to set. You can be a great poet, everyone can! just make it flowy and have more of a scene set.
No offense, but it sounds kind of 3rd grader- ish.
ok, so, despite my involvement in the creation (ha. not really. the last couple lines), this poem was pretty good...but just pretty good.
the rhymes fit, but you lose the flow a couple times. and for a short piece you have to try to minimize the amount of flow-breaks (i have no idea what else to call them).
overall, this was--as i said--pretty good. and you have real potential to be a great poet!
Keep writing!
-GC10
It's not bad for an 'off the top of your head' thing. I can easily relate to the subject, however I think it needs more substance, if you know what I mean, it just seems a bit to empty and light.
I'm pretty sure there's a name for this type of poem... I just can't remember what (Haiku? Doesn't sound right).
This I created just off the top of my head. It isn't the greatest. Plus, my friend helped me. I greatly appreciate ideas & critiquing to make my writing better.