forgottenfallen

Hello! I love the idea of this story, I know I'm not 16 and shouldn't have beern reading it...:) Just one thing. Alice’s eyes widen; she grits her teeth and ...

Just a word of advice, for every post you submit you have to write at least 3 reviews for other people ( 1 post-at least 3 reviews ) My advice ...

I like the way this poem is written and the basic concept. My only criticism would be the change in tone, e.g: A sweet fairytale, you seem to be, a ...

Meave and Sera....what interesting and beautiful names for your characters! It really enhances the way you think about their personality if they aren't just called 'John and Jane' Some really ...

Honey, your story is here to be judged :) If you want to publish it, apply for a copyright number for you to post at the bottom of each piece ...

A good idea on the whole for a poem, I like it. Just with a poem its a expression of feeling, not an excuse to write another random sentence to ...

What an amazing idea for a poem! I might do that when I can't think of anything to write next time, thanks x My only point would be to stop ...

I personally think you should keep it as 'Untitled', it drew me in because it seemed like a deliberate mistake and sounded great. My only critism would be to stop ...

I love that, sounds a little like emo poetry. Was that your target audience> My only points: You killed me, killed me to death. I really don't think this makes ...

Sounds like the start of a really cute little story, I like it :) But just remember: Each new speaker has a new line, because speech is important! And what ...

I thought the diologue in your spoiler was amazing, you seem similar to me in the way that you like using unusual names for your characters :) Just one point: ...

Hello! Aquamarine made some amazing points there, especially about the way you write. Isolating the reader is a very easy thing to do when you have a good idea in ...