***Heya there! Let’s jump to that review, shall we?
“Milady Meave!” Sera cried, urgently rapping at the closed, mahogany door. “Milady, please! Awaken! Awaken!"
I don’t understand. If it was all so important, why didn’t she just barge right in there and shake awake Milady Meave? The situation, by your character’s urgent cries, sounds dire. So why wait around, banging on the door?
The girl started at the sound of her maid, utterly distressed and sounding as if to panic at any given moment.
I assumed the maid was already panicked.
Meave sat up, looking about her in the darkness. Smoke filled the room, and screams and the sounds of intense battle echoed from the floors and courtyards below.
So, I am assuming the shades are drawn over the windows, making it dark in the room. Describe the haziness and the smell of the thick cloud in the room. It makes your scene more dire and your reader along with your character figure out that the haziness is actually smoke. Don’t forget about the emotion, and the feel of your scenes. You want your reader to feel the panic.
“Sera? What is the meaning of this?” Meave demanded, but not unkindly.
This seems like a rather…unnecessary question. There are screams everywhere and her room is filled with smoke. She should be panicking and not asking such silly questions like that. How about, “Sera? What is happening?” Also, I would nix the "but not unkindly" part. It doesn't seem to go with the direness of the whole scene. You could however, say something like "her usual kind voice was laced with the sharpness of rising panic." If that makes sense
The door opened, and Sera bustled in, closing it behind her with shaking hands.
Why didn’t she open it in the first place?
“Milady, do not speak! They will hear you!”
After the racket the maid made attacking the door and screaming for the girl to awake?
Meave watched, dismayed at the little servant’s behavior.
I wouldn’t describe the maid as little. Try, the petite woman or something. It adds a bit more feel
Sera tucked dried fruit, nuts, and smoked fish, all wrapped in cloths, into the satchel and tied it closed.
Where did she get the food from? Thin air? If she managed to bring them from the kitchen or something, describe the maid pulling the food from a pocket or something.
“Dear Sera, what has happened? Please, tell me,” Meave begged, cupping the little woman’s cheek with a soft hand.
Sera came across more so as a timid young girl, like fourteen or fifteen. She didn’t feel to me as a woman. Just afterwards, when she’s calling Meave dear and such does she feel more like a woman.
The truth that she was alone. Forever.
This is a rather silly statement. She wouldn’t be truly alone, just without family. She still has Sera as a friend. And maids are with their…not sure if this is the right word. Charges most of the time so I would partially assume (since you said Meave had a rather nice personality) that the servants would be friends and whatnot. Even if you lose your blood family, you can still have family. In the form of very trustworthy and close friends
“I will see you again, dear Sera…”
“Aye, once peace has returned, I will find you.”
Why didn’t Sera escape with Meave? It really makes no sense. But then again, if she was covering the escape back up I suppose…
Where it went, Meave knew not, but it was her only hope, her only escape.
Sera knew of this escape route but the princess did not? Seems a little funny.
“Se va con díos.”
What language is this?
Men shouted, and Meave could hear their weapons tearing through flesh.
I really don’t understand why the men would kill Sera. It makes no sense really. She was just a maid. Wouldn’t they interrogate her to know the whereabouts of the princess or anything? Or even take her as prisoner? Seems kind of cruel and unnecessary.
Blood, still hot, began to trickle down into the passage, between the boards of the trap door.
I, however, like this sentence and the description in it.
~~~~~
Very hooking prologue and it was interesting. It describes briefly what the story is going to be about. Like a good prologue should
However, I do think you could have spiced some of it up with some description and or descriptive words. Description makes your world come to life and the scenes. Your characters and imagination does the rest ^_^
You should try and explain some things thoroughly and don’t skim over little facts that may just help your story along.
Any questions, feel free to PM me!
Meadow
Guess I've been staying up too late to write... 
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