fiction903

I liked this chapter better than the last one.I your descriptions of Damien. I do have one suggestion though there is a part in the story where you say "there ...

Your work is good as usual. I do have some suggestions please name the class Fate is in when they are doing work in the lab. I think you should ...

wow! Your poem portrays some strong emotions. I like your similes.I think you might want to change the last line of your poem because I think collapse into your self ...

I like the topic being addressed in your poem. If I were you I would take out the line that talks about the hamburgers that make us so fat. If ...

Please break up your story into paragraphs. Also who is the narrator in your story ? Overall it is a unique idea. If I were you I would change some ...

"Before you were here, so suddenly in my life,it was black and white and faded.But there you are, happy to make me better." I think that you should consider revising ...

I am a little confused. What are the butterflies trying to escape from? In your poem it says they keep hitting the wall. what is the wall around ? I ...

I thought it was very interesting. You did a good job even thought I didn't read chapter one I can understand it. I noticed some mistakes you might want to ...

You have a great poem, it is simple short and sweet. There is one thing that I would change in your poem. When you say "go to heaven on high", ...

Hi good poem. you poem creates a vivid image. It is way better than mine. I think you are missing some punctuation. The poem also has nice rhythm. keep up ...

I thought your poem was good.You might want to fix some of the grammar like coz and aint. I also have a question what does "your diamonds" mean ? keep ...