The butterflies,
they skim across the water
so quickly.
Hardly ever stopping
to catch their breath.
Heads nodding wildly
they gain momentum
until they hit the wall
and bounce off.
Diving once more
across the water
the butterflies
churn the blueness
so that it looks white.
Crashing into a wall
once more
the butterflies
react the same,
but are 50 yards
closer to their goals.
Now their speed
really picks up.
Truly flying like birds
in the sky with
cerulean blue
surrounding them.
The butterflies,
their splashes echoing
all through the pool
head into their final lap.
This is where it
really counts.
With one final
display of strength
one butterfly breaks free
and collapses
into the wall.
Sweet victory.
so tell me what you think please! Thanks!!!
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oh... ok thanks. I have read some of your other poetry and it is really good. I don't really know how to swim so that explains why I was so confused. So sorry.
er sorry if this was a little confusing. I wasn't actually talking about butterflies as in insects, but butterflies as in people who swim the butterfly in swimming. Hope that clears things up!
I am a little confused. What are the butterflies trying to escape from? In your poem it says they keep hitting the wall. what is the wall around ? I think you should elaborate on what they are trying to escape from . It is hard for me to vividly imagine what is going on in this poem. Overall I think it is good.
warm fuzzes
good luck! you can pm me any time