erratik_statik

You've met? Should introduce me one day lol No, don't. The poem was pretty good... it got your message across and I have no real picks or anything. But I ...

I think i get it... had to read it three times mind you... but I think that is what makes a good poem. It needs exploring, and is enriched because ...

i would call this a really good raw beginning. The description is fantastic and such: but the theme seems too shallow... its a good one, and the metaphor fit it ...

I agree with Knightly... this is really good. It has the power to sort of suck the life out of you, leaves you empty, which makes it really powerful. Emptiness ...

wow this was really good :-) 2nd crack at it? You'll be hooked in no time... I rarely write anything else anymore :-). Rhyme was all good.. no issues there ...

this is sheer class. absolutely gorgeous. :-) but I 'spose you want something constructive... First paragraph: delete the 3 'what ifs' at the end: they cheapen and sort of fluff ...

I can see why you don't like it... lol that sounds bad but its not!! I think you're looking at the rhyme scheme and the flow and you don't see ...

hmm this is good. i liiike :-). A few minor glitches in the flow though... try reading it aloud and you'll see where your missing syllables or you have to ...

wow. really really good i'm pro-choice and you havn't swayed me which is no doubt your intention.. but I respect the passion with which you believe. The pen is mightier ...

absolutely gorgeous. heartbreaking, beautiful basically i have run out of synonyms lol I won't do much technical stuff because I happen to be useless at formalities :-) ______________________ Why did ...

nice job... simple, lucid and very descriptive... the imagery was nice :-) a couple of things though... Spring Magic White, fluffy clouds are scattered across the piercing blue sky I ...

hey I really like this man.. gold star defs. The words were used sparsely and effectively and gave a real punchy feel; the analogy was really original and the imagery ...

really good man... idea was great, words were great, imagery was stunning very apocalyptic and such :-)- beautiful rhyme and rhytm was excellent: the flow you generated gave me the ...

isn't it funny how this has the most comments out of all the poems i've read So what if it is s***? He admits it is s***... and waste of ...

You don't see much of this sort of stuff on here... I really like it. Its got a real grungy, industrial tone: perfect for the antiestablishment idea behind it. Gastric ...