erilea

Hey, skylnn00writes! Lupa here for a review. Let's get started! :D 1) There are some lines that have too many syllables, and they don't fit well with the other lines. ...

Heya, gxldencrxwns! It's Lupa here for the first review. Oh, and a belated welcome to YWS! Let's get started! :D 1) In the first two paragraphs, you say the word ...

Hey, Carlito! My first review in a while. I'm rusty, so please don't hurt me. :D 1) Unless Tyson is a psychic, he shouldn't be able to know that Zac ...

Heya, Mage! It's Lupa here for a rare review. O_o (They almost never happen these days.) All jokes aside, let's get to it! 1) The last line of the second ...

Heya, Carlito! Lupa here for a Review Day review! :D Let's go! 1) "I don’t like if I could pick a good guy if he stood right in front of ...

Hey, OreosAreLife! Lupa here for my 511th review! XD Let's begin. First off, I just wanted to say how sweet this was. It reminds me of the tag Ten Reasons ...

Heya, JaylinBoykins! Lupa here for a review... let's begin. :) 1) The beginning makes some sense to me, but it doesn't completely make me understand. Why are you questioning whether ...

Hey, RoseTulipLily! Lupa here for a nice review. :D Let's start, shall we? 1) "A ringing sounded in his ears; he realized it was his heartbeat." This is a really ...

Heya! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "All the occupants inside were enjoying Themselves." Simple mistake--"themselves" shouldn't be capitalized. 2) There's a lot of dialogue in here, ...

Heya, regismare! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "a riot of colour and sound as perminant as the endless summer sun." This is a small misspelling, but ...

Heya, Falconer! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's begin. 1) "Together, she and Finnley sat underneath the lone tree." I'd like more description of setting her. You mention a ...

Hey, CateRose! Lupa dropping by for a Review Day review! :D Let's start... 1) "She is older than me, by a year. She is seventeen while I am sixteen." When ...

Heya, Falconer! Lupa here for a Review Day review! :D Let's begin... 1) ""Awe alright sweetie, as long as you're okay."" This here is missing some punctuation and has a ...

Heya, pkidchick! Lupa here for a Review Day review! :D Let's begin... 1) "It was the perfect day for a funeral." I want to talk to you about word choice ...

Heya, RavenBlack! Lupa here for a short review! :D Let's begin, alright? 1) "This was me a year from now." I assume you're talking about the past, but in this ...