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Re: I still do
A silhouette of you, I see. My heart’s as happy as it can be I ask “Did you yearn for me too?” And you answer “Yes and I still do.” ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:04 am -
Re: L-o-v-e
I agree with Ollie. While this doesn't pertain to the song as much as it could, it felt very true-to-you in some spots. Though in others, it did feel a ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:40 am -
Re: Life's Whisper
dianne cleaned up all the grammatical stuffs, which means less work for me. :) It's reading till 2AM try this It's reading until two a.m. Besides that, and comments above ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:27 am -
Re: Loneliness-really short please read!!!
I agree with others that the line "My heart feels love touch" is a bit awkward, and it should be chaged with some method above^ especially since those two lines, ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:17 am -
Re: Young Captive, Dearest Friend
That was really beautiful. I liked the use of the word dark, actually. It was a nice mixture of lofty words and common ones. This is an amazing poem-- I'm ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:20 am -
Re: Lyrics made for Owl City? :)
Hello, Pacific Sky Hate to sound bossy and all but there is a forum specifically for lyrics; and if you want your poem put there you can ask a moderator ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:18 am -
Re: If a day could last years.....
I loved the style and imagery in this poem; it was absolutely breathtaking. Great job. Normally I don't like poetry with strings of questions in them, but this was pulled ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:14 am -
Re: October Night
I remember the bright shine, raining down from the street lights. As I drove down Corpus, along the ocean side. It was gettign getting colder again. We bearly barely knew ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:10 am -
Re: hold your fire, heavens
Hello, colorful, I would say ask some more people to review your writing because it's not fair that it just sits here without any comments. So I'm changing that now. ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:05 am -
Re: Deadly Sins. Part I / Lust
So difficult to fight with the lusty sin getting into my human mortal nature, overpowering my soul and leaving no chance for repenting. I would say if the vertical word ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:59 am -
Re: The Play's End
That was really beautiful, and rife with imagery. I'm sure your friend would be proud of this piece. It was, obviously, full of depression and melancholy but they felt like ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:56 am -
Re: Dance with Cinderella
I much enjoyed the rhyming scheme, actually. And the rhythm was pretty good, as well. She's covered in filth every day With something to look forward to Glad to have ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:53 am -
Re: My Dream
And if life happens to hand you a challenge, That you go the extra mile. good line, try this instead: And if life hands you a challenge, You go the ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:30 am -
Re: The Sole
I agree wholeheartedly with Snoink. And unknown poet--- :( June is one of the most helpful poetry-critiquers on this site; and she didn't say anything to dismiss or discourage KayDee. ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:25 am -
Re: And I Sleep Easier
This was a beautiful poem.. fantastic job. One question: why isn't is called Knowing? That seems to be the subject matter here. Oh, and I agree with everyone above. Too ...
Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:16 am
