Published December 15, 2009
Knowing,
That the heart
Beating in your chest,
The deep,
Resonating beat,
Beats for me.
Knowing,
That your finger tips,
Etched deeply
With lines
That set you apart
From any other man,
Crave the touch
Of my skin.
Knowing,
That when you lie
In my bed,
With the shadows of night
Cast over your face,
Your mind retraces steps
Of memories we shared.
Knowing,
Just knowing
That you are mine.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,568 Literary Works • 673,460 Reviews
This was a beautiful poem.. fantastic job. One question: why isn't is called Knowing? That seems to be the subject matter here. Oh, and I agree with everyone above. Too many beating's in the first stanza; kind of takes away from the rest of the poem.
Other than that, great job. A star for you!
keep writing poetry, Kay.
empress
Ooh, I really like this. For some reason it reminds me of lyrics, but I guess it can be quite a popular subject so I'm not surprised!
I don't think that you actually need to capitalize the first word of every line; poetry is like prose with the capitalization rules so you actually don't need to capitalize too much here, I think! For me, it's actually quite distracting when the words that don't need to be capitalized are, but I'm kind of used to them the other way now!
There was a lot of "beating" in the first stanza. If I were you I'd change the middle one, "resonating beat" to something else, just breaks up the slight monotony a little!
But great poem, well done!
~Amy
Thanks very much
wow...that was a beautiful poem!