elephantwalrus

I actually like the poetic license that you took in this poem. The line breaks, the lack of quotations...they seemed to have a purpose, and they didn't appear to be ...

Wow, this is a really thoughtful poem! I enjoyed it a lot. It flowed nicely, and each word has a purpose in the poem; the compactness of this thought is ...

This was a nice poem. The image was powerful, though the theme is a bit vague. Now, to the nit-picky stuff! And at the Cliffs we met Wind and Cold ...

What an emotional piece! It is clear that you put a lot of thought into this. Now, on to the critique! This is really historical fiction, even though the history ...

This is really interesting! It's mysterious...I can't wait to find out what happens next! The biggest problem that I see with this piece is that you do a lot of ...

Overall, I agree with what has already been said, but I do have a couple things to add: 1. The rhythm of the poem seemed non-existent. The lack of flow ...

This is very nice! The rhyme is smooth, which is always good, and it makes for a polished poem. My only suggestion would be to possibly make each line longer; ...

This is a nice poem! It has really nice themes. The biggest distraction in this poem is that the rhythm isn't always constant. Read through it out loud, and you'll ...

I agree with Eimear; there's a lot to say =). 1. The biggest problem I see in this piece is that all of the rhymes are forced. You have some ...

Is this a prologue to a piece? It sounds like it could be. Anyway, the biggest strength of this piece is your sentence variation. You use lots of different sentence ...

Overall, I agree with the people who posted before me. It's an interesting idea, but you need to hook your reader or else they'll get bored. I might suggest changing ...

This is a really unique piece. The stream-of-conciousness narration is nicely done, and you use descriptive words well. The only turn off is that you started off too many sentences ...

This is a pretty intense story. What bugged me most is that the piece, as a whole, was really rough. Here are some of the basic things that I noticed: ...

Hm...I think I would have enjoyed the piece more if I knew the context. Is it a prologue? A chapter of a longer work? around me until it nearly sophocated ...

Nice! This was really funny. You have a great voice. The only suggestion I have is to try to work some dialog into the piece. Good dialog could add to ...