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Re: Death of a Fairy
This was long, but it didn't bother me. The problem was you don't keep the seriousness of a poem like this. It didn't bore me. But when you took away ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Dawn and Dusk
Adna, I'm afraid I missed what this was about, but what I read though unclear and a little abstract. I very much like. It's got beauty in those lines, best ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Snow Falls
With the falling of the snow comes silent blanket of white powder that brings a certain joy. Snow flakes land in my hand only to melt away. The free falling ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Love...
One question: "Why?" You tell us how love is, but that's nothing new to use, tell us why? Don't just keep on saying how it is without showing why it's ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: My Desert Rose
Very well... it's all good and well telling us this, but how does she make ya feel? How do ya feel when near her. Telling us everything, bores us, as ...
May 11, 2008 -
Re: Yes, Little Rock
Creepy, and shocked me. I never expected the brother to do it. And way he seems at first he seems a totally differenet person to after here: “Hey, Alana, you ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: lies
It's very different, don't agree with lies being like Spiders, as I love them, but it's from ya mind so won't be too nit picky about it. Now on second ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: Purple
I agree with Brad, this is angst and doesn't really make me feel anything. Sounds very emo-ish and poor me. You do try and at least approach it differently, but ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: Fear
Something is knocking the window - it's just a branch missing its tree. Somewhere a light flashes - it's just a car missing its map reader. Something lurks under the ...
May 10, 2008 -
Re: dedicated to someones specials
when you lose someone close to you heart and you whole world falls apart you cant carry on but you must be strong cause pple depend on you tears fall ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: The Accursed Cartographer
This is (probably) a novel not in chapters. I'm not used to writing for an audience, but that is what this piece is intended for - an audience. I usually ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Stare At The Road.
Very interesting, some of the spacing bit weird like this: I laugh, And smile. Oh no. Here comes another. Attack. See it's not right spaced out. Other than that, can't ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Rain
Fix colour, fix puntuation and then pm me to reread it also from what I noticed you spoke once in chat speak. The people pass w/out a care And suddenly, ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Because I'm Gangsta!
This type of poem is very poor and mainstream version of it. It personally sounds more like a song and it just drones on and on. I got bored after ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Them
Hmm, sorry to be harsh but 'so!' we all know this. We want to be interested not read some contrived poem about the problems of the world, unless you write ...
May 9, 2008
