Young Writers Society

It was very funny and if i may say so not boreing at all. The whole thing was awesome and i was laughing up until the last part. It was serious and balanced the poem nicely. You made it funny but then showed that the topic wasnt really that funny. I loved it. It was gangsta!

Respect, dude. You've caused a strir, that's for sure. I don't know, there's aspects of this piece that are for me- the irony towards the end is good, almost hillarious in itself as well as the start, but the overall concept lacks any real emotion and I gain nothing as a reader.

But Kudos for a sensational poem, anway!

Eimear

Wow... all of these compliments and insults for the same piece of work. Interesting...

3-Damentional,


This is junk - a clumsy pastiche of lines that leads nowhere slowly, and which is framed in language sometimes not even your own (lyrics from songs that were awful when they came out, in particular).

Throw this away. Try something else.


Best,
Brad

I have to admit that the first thought that came to mind when I saw the title was "You have GOT to be kidding me." I was expecting something really stupid, but I was surprised! I laughed, mostly because I have a whole lot of wannabes at my school.
The part I liked the most was where you went off the humor and actually hit deep. That was so cool to me! The parts where you talked about WHY they're like that, that just blew the whole thing out of the park for me. Bueno Bueno for you!

Cheers!

~ Eden

...Nice humor...Not my type of poem, but it was still good. I showed it to my friends and they laughed wildly...Heh...Heh, heh...Erm...

Death

I didn't find this enjoyable. All I could see was a list of cliches, and the poem really doesn't bring anything original to the table. I've heard these same kind of jokes at school.

That was so funny. Seriously. People at my school don't say "gangsta," though. They have this thing where they say "gangSTAR" instead of gangsta or gangster.

Back to your piece of writing. I agree you should make stanzas---it'll be easier for readers to read.

Else than that this was hilarious.
Way to go!

- Summerless <3~

I honestly didn't find anything wrong. At least something that sticks out to me.

I like how it has some kind of hidden message while trying to lighten the mood with some humor.

Those last few lines were perfect. Great ending.

It leaves me with mixed feelings, which in this case, isn't a bad thing. At first I'm crackin' up, then I feel sympathetic, and last I have a smile on my face.
That was a nice effect.

I'd love to see more from you, shall I look for more?

Oh and one more thing... a golden star for you!

I agree. This poem is rather funny and you smile. But then, as you read on you realize just how hard it is on the person and how much they don't like the fact that they're gangster as much. Then, you feel bad for them and your smile is now a sympthetic face.

Kudos to you. You win a star!

I can't stop laughin'. Godd job....gangsta'

I like your poem a lot.
where it said:

We jump people for fun ‘cuz that’s gangsta!
Well, not really fun ‘cuz fun aint gangsta!

I really like this. I love how you described a gangsta in details. This is a really funny, but, yet true poem about the gangsta society. I like the repitition used in this. I know you're acting of a gangsta, but, watch the chat speak.

School? Naw! Learnin’ aint gangsta!

Hey gangsta, wassup? :'D

That was so gangsta! Okay, now you made me say that all the time, you freakin' gangsta. Okay, I'll stop. Now. You know why? 'Cuz I'm gangsta!

No, really, that was awesome. I laughed. And that doesn't happen very often when I'm reading poems. So great job, keep up, you (you know what I'm going to call you? That's correct,) gangsta!

All the best and tears of laughter from your fellow gangsta,
Demeter

ha, ha, ha that was a really funny poem

i hope you aint 'gangsta foe real

cuz if u is i pray for you

anyways if you're not that was hilarious

oh wait sorry was that word to big for your


little 'gangsta mind just kidding

'gangstas are stupid thought we got a couple

of 'gangstas at our school they in BLOOD AND G.E.D

they real slow but they friendly to me i guess since they

'gangsta they got to flirt with sexy girls like me

lol!! no offense i would never join a gang

if you believe in GOD AND LOVE HIM REMEMBER THIS

God is watching everythign you say everything you do

try to change yo ways now drop out of the gangs who

cares if they shoot you cause you'll be the one being sent

to heaven cause God knows you have 'improved

At first i felt it was being a little too repeatative but after awhile, the repeatative words made the poem more humorous. I liked how you showed the consequences of being "gangster" too. I really liked the line

"I may spend a whole day on the corner for no reason ‘cuz I’m gangsta!"

I liked it. Pretty awesome.

You should add stanzas, 'cause when I first saw this I felt,' I don't feel like reading this'
It just makes it easier to read. No matter where you go, you'll always get stanzas or paragraphs in life,books ext.

But I really liked this. Can't wait to read your other stuff.

I really like this. People in my school (especially boys) always claim to be ganstas. And they know their not. I mean how can you be a gansta and still live with your mom or dad and still going to school? They just be talking with though their butts. Back on topic, I enjoyed reading this. Keep it up!

This type of poem is very poor and mainstream version of it. It personally sounds more like a song and it just drones on and on. I got bored after a while and skipped to review. It was just too much. You're TELLING not SHOWING! We don't want to know about it like a story, we want to feel the emotion. The senses. You just drone on in a very jaded mainstream rant. Telling us EVERYTHING. First tip on poetry, don't tell all, instead hint and let us see it.

Overall: Too repetive, rather cliche and just plain boring. Choose a goal and focus on it. Rather than just telling us a story. Make us feel the person or narrators emotions.

Good luck
VSN

Wow. I read the comments first and I was looking for a big laugh. I mean, the humor...it turns to saddness and not really happiness.

Its like they're slowly admitting because that they have problems and they hurt more than they'll let anyone know...

But then they have to take it back, because they have a mask to keep on.

Gold star for you.

Wow you most be really gansta. lol

Haha! *wipes humor tears away*
That was good!
I like everything about it!
Awesome job 3!
Awesome job!
Awesome!

~Lulu

Every line (except the last five) had me laughing almost until I fell out of my chair! I have the same problem at my school, except they don't say "I'm gangsta," they just try to act like it. This reminded me of my friends when they act crazy, lol.

I have to get local bussas to go for me ‘cuz I’m gangsta!
did you mean to spell busses?

That's actually kinda funny.