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Re: Earth's Plight
Hmm, J.C Belding I can't decide if i like this or not, one thing it does have some great word choice, but you tell us something. The first rule of ...
May 9, 2008 -
Re: Bathing In The Moonlight
Not... really anything new or intersting, and with a title like this, I expected a better peice. This is pure navelgazing and nothing new. Worse you use cliches: You’re free ...
May 8, 2008 -
Re: To Be Joined As One
O_O... Way too rambly. You start good but then go on and on. Feel like I'm Alice fallen down the rabbit hole. Please cut this down and make it less ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Lie,Lie,Lie
Serj Tankian=Amazing. Now i agree with Suzanne here line 'Right' didn't add anything. It does seem to have a more lyrical quality to this. Won't lie it was a really ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: How To Live Forever
Ami, is this poem about a singer who becomes famous it's what I got. You did very well on this. For once I have no problems lmao. Mad eh? Well ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Approval
Tiff, this a too telling for my liking you a good not original, but sure ya can make it worth while read. My main problem with this is you've a ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: What's This Feeling?
Very expressive, but what it about? That's all I don't get. It's all fine and well having such great imagery. But if meaning not clear it's void. The title inner ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: What do you see?
Ami, you've a wonderful poem, but seeing the other comments I agree you should show these places, it's a very selfless poem and if worked on, you could really make ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: The nerd in the sweater
Someone's sacred, Someone's crying, Someone's on the inside, dying Why put those glasses and make yourself a fool? Dropping your pride like a old greased stained shirt on the floor, ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Gorgeous Neon
Wonders whatever happened to good old ol' Grammar 101. Punctuation I can ignore but directly ignoring capitals where needed. That's too far. This is simple english. Now to poem it's ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Ms. Apt Diagnosis
Wow...wow..wowo... Yep that's my reaction in a nutshell this is amazing. The title never expected something like this. It's perfect, I found no problem wonderful imagery and brilliant word choice. ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: Illusion
This is indeed cute but seems more like a summary for a kids story than a poem. It's a very child-like idea. But you do an awful of telling making ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: escape
First I shall say: Show don't tell! Explain why you had to get away, make us feel it all. This isn't a poem as it lacks what a lot of ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: May I Have This Dance
Ouch my head... I've heard of driving a point home but god please stop hitting my head it's painful! You keep telling us of the different way they dance, but ...
May 4, 2008 -
Re: As I struggle, you kick me when I'm down
*Bang* That's my mind, you killed it with all these cliches. It's not even that well done. You go over so many of them. Next it's hardly original. Oh boohoo ...
May 4, 2008
