darkmindedemo

This was quite funny. I loved it. The struggles of someone being forced to learn something is very well shown here. You used very good descriptions, it was very easy ...

My favorite lines are "Again and again, I ask you for peace. And yet, you keep tightening the leash." "Oh brothers, oh sisters, let me ask you this: How does ...

This is a really good preface that made me really think about what love really is. It's cool how you wrote it in 3rd person. Are you going to write ...

I really like this. Although there are some spots that didn't quite make sense. Like when the main character over-reacted to the broken glass sculpture. Yes, it was from her ...

This is good, very deep. I personally don't like one stanza poetry but this is an exception. There is no more that needs to be said, so no more should ...

This is a good start. You have your ideas down. Now a thing I suggest is to show and not tell (although I am guilty of it too). I would ...

I really like this. There is alliteration which is a good thing. It is also relatable. Almost every teenager can relate to this because it is how we are treated. ...

This is a really good start. I personally really like this because of what you are trying to describe. There is some subconscious rhyming and I like it, even though ...

This is really good, has some good imagery. I could see the trees with their branches like diamonds and the awkward little seedling just starting to grow. I would recommend ...

This is really good. The fight the Mr. Jay has defending his writing that he was working on for years is realistic. Someone would defend their writing like that. And ...

This is a good start. I would recommend adding dialogue instead of just telling us what they were trying to accomplish. Have you ever heard of show and not tell? ...

Just have to say this is an amazing story. It's realistic. But let's cut to the chase and review this. This has alot of emotion. But there are many places ...

I really love this. Although it is short (and I would prefer it to be longer) this is a good piece of poetry. I could see the fire melting the ...

This is very realistic. Alot of people hide their emotions from the world because the world doesn't matter what people are feeling. And the newborn baby, not knowing the dark ...

This is a really good short poem. I tend not to write short poetry, but you wrote this very well. I like the way you made a full circle around ...