Our minds were flooded by corporate corruption
Our souls were tainted by the destruction of our planet
Our hearts were hardened by a lack of human compassion
Yet we are the problem?
Criticized for our lack of motivation for change,
Ridiculed for our dependence on technology,
Mocked and belittled by the elderly that own us.
Held accountable for problems we did not cause
Helpless in our own life.
Instead of losing a fight we cannot win. We hide,
Drugs, videogames, social media, the Internet
A vast web of other realities to escape to
No longer the victims of things beyond our control.
Where we rule supreme.
Most of us no longer care about this world.
One lone victory against a tide of defeat
Perfectly content to be stuck in our cage
To give in to the pressure around us.
To finally conform.
Will we forever be the scapegoat of their failure?
Or will we finally take a stand against the wrongs being done?
This is our world and its time for us to take it back.
Maybe it is time to fight for us
Time to win.
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I really like this. There is alliteration which is a good thing. It is also relatable. Almost every teenager can relate to this because it is how we are treated. But now on to the review...
There is no problem at all with punctuation, grammar, out working, which makes this amazing.
My two favorite parts were "Our minds were flooded with corporate corruption." I like this one because we are told what is true and what is false and expected not to challenge it at all. Plus the alliteration was good.
And "Our hearts were hardened by a lack of human compassion. Yet we are the problem?" This is amazing because we are blamed for how we were raised. We were generally ignored more and used technology more than our parents, and then they yell at us for doing what we know what to do. We are mostly raised with "missing" parents... That were at work now often than they were at home.
Overall this is really good. I would tell you how to improve it if I knew anything that would be improved.
Hey! I am here to write a review!
I love this poem. It's a very deep poem. It seems true, and makes me and the reader think about humans, and our world that we live in. The spelling is perfect, the punctuation is perfect, everything about it is perfect. "Our hearts were hardened by a lack of human compassion
Yet we are the problem?" Were my favorite lines. Made me think a lot about how we are taking care of our world, and that we need to take more actions. I hope you keep writing, and I hope you become successful! Keep up the work! Well done.