danipower0204

Writing is a way of seeing things A way to uncover the invisible glaze That the world has coated you with Shielding you from seeing the truth Because, writing is ...

Looking down from a starry sky, I see the darkest depths of night that brings about the blacks and whites that can't be seen otherwise. This line is an example ...

I also think this has great potential. By that i mean if you stick some metaphors in there and some similes inam sure it will he a lot more powerful. ...

So, I liked this. Rhythm-spot on. Big fan of rhythm. You did. Great job keeping the rhythm constant and tight. Rhyme was also good. Didn't sound forced. I didn't really ...

Well done. Enjoyed this a lot. You're 13 and writing poems like this? Crazy. Just imagine what you will be writing in the next few years. As to the poem, ...

Ingenious. Really. Made me laugh out loud sometimes. This was truly awesome. I could do some spell check/grammar check, but I can't be bothered right now, sorry. I'd much rather ...

The diamond girl was flawless, her form and gait pristine. God made her eyes from stars and seas, and stroked his jealousy. Like this a lot. "My dear," Hell said, ...

Hey there. So, if I'm quite honest, it did not read much like a poem. It is very prose-like, if not, just prose. Also, no idea what this was really ...

Life is full of heart ache with a severed chest , a blood trail leading down the hall , a closed door hiding a loved one with barred teeth , ...

Fingers twitch Sharp breath in Must stay calm Keep it in. Breathing slows Eyes wander Mind strays Start to ponder. What happens next? Got to peek Want to see: Will ...

Damn! I really liked this. The first line literally got me hooked. It's just so absurd that one has to read on. Great job. the list was pretty funny. Not ...

This was great. Really liked it. At first I was like oh well, and not that interested, but the language you used was great. I especially liked the line "in ...

Sometimes I can’t help it but cry. I don’t cry because I'm sad. I cry because I think about the past, And the future. Are they watching? Will they watch? ...

Longing for a lost lover Thunder, I’m a spirit who wanders the universe on my own Through eternity, dear Thunder, I walk alone. Thou are not, Thunder, my owner. Truth ...

I also liked it! It's very different, which is good. My advice is to make it even more extreme. As in: "If you were a heart of glass, I'd SMASH ...