This is a first draft of a poem that I wrote in the last 15 minutes or so of chemistry a few days ago while we were taking notes, so my attention wasn't completely on it, so constructive criticism would be helpful 
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Looking down from a starry sky,
I see the darkest depths of night
that brings about the blacks and whites
that can't be seen otherwise.
I can see all right and wrong.
I can pick the weak from the strong,
but I can't live among them all
cause I'm among the stars.
Is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just want to be free
from this evil cursing me.
Up in the sky
I see darks and lights,
but try as hard as I ever might
I can't see inside of me
To see what I'm doing right.
Criticize is all I can do.
I can tell you what's wrong with you,
but I can't see myself at all.
I could be a giant or two feet tall.
So is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just need to be free
from this evil cursing me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
Loved this poem. Seriously. I don't say that a lot. There is a lot of potential here. I would say you have a good outline, and now you really need to refine it. Make this diamond shine. Seriously. Wow.
OK let's start nitpicking a little bit. My edits above will relate to below.
A few things bothered me (meaning they got in the way of it being a really enjoyable read):
Rhythm: Was off at times. This, for me, is the biggest culprit here. Get the syllables in each line the same to make it read nice and fluid. You generally use the same number of syllables, but wonder off at times. This is the easy way out! Don't! There are poems which don't need rhythm, but this one benefits from it. Keep it the same. Change words around, replace them, etc. until you have the same syllables. Maybe the line will be even better!
Imagery: You can do better! As mentioned above, the giant and the two feet tall isn't very striking. I immediately thought, "there has to be a better example than that".
That's all for now. These were my suggestions. Work on it because it has the potential to be great. Your message is tight and hits home in almost every person I think. We can always judge other people better than ourselves.
Awesome job! Keep writing!
I really enjoyed this poem! I think that the idea and story were really good and interesting. I just have two small suggestions:
You used "among" two times in a row, it's really not a big deal but if you chose a different word for one of the lines I think it would sound better.I'm not too sure what it is, but there is something off about this stanza. I think it's because you tried fitting too many words in it, causing the flow to be off. I just had trouble as I was reading it, but then again that could just be me.
Great work, overall!