convintojm

i thought it was too general and so i couldn't feel anything for the narrator which made the poem meaningless. it also feels like i've seen something like this too ...

first thanks for all the responses. i agree with the comment about using life twice at thebeginning but when i try it without it doesn't seem clear enough and i ...

be more specific. add some more concrete things to make it more real. it's too general.

i felt nothing for the person so i just couldn't like it. if left me with this and i care why sorta feeling.

i think it's interesting but i'm not sure what i'd think of it without your introduction so i dont' think i can simply judge the poem.

all i can say is it's very dizzying and i don't mind the lack of captials it adds to the streaming thoughts feel. i can see why it might not ...

i agree that you need some more variation in your word use. and that there needs to be more. i feel like i can't really judge till i see more.

i like it. i guess mostly because like any writer i've felt that. and i like how you decided on a short format because there isn't a lot that needs ...

my biggest problem is the flow. it's just too sort of bouncy and light. i felt it should come off more somber.

there just didn't seem to be enough of a point. no real substance to it. just like a simple and possibly cliche description. so i guess any judgement would be ...

i thought it was interesting but i didn't completely understand the ending.

i like it. the tone and the idea. though i noticed you used two different ways to describe the second blue and only one way to describe the first. that ...

i find the tone very enchanting. one sort of minor silly thing though. Adonis just seemed too cliche for the rest of the poem which is very orginal and fresh ...

it's pretty good. i like how you add little details that make the poem more real. i do agree about the transition though it does seem a little off but ...