Published December 16, 2004
White paper; naked
Daring me to fill it up
Daring me to write.
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137,884 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
Hello, this is Kelisot for a short review. I enjoyed reading the haiku, as they are one of my favorite types of poetry! Although people can interpret poetry freely and think differently, this is how I interpreted your poetry.
This poetry is about someone writing, as the paper basically "provokes" the narrator to write something on it. I love how the perspective of writing is seen this way, it's avant-garde, new, and fresh!
Another haiku in response:
Blank ink smeared on me
The white is gone, all letters
Worlds with new stories
Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I am not very experienced at this. In fact, honestly speaking, the only time I review any type or form of poetry is during RevMo because I have to. But this was such a simple haiku and it narrated such a relatable story. I feel that every writer in this world has experienced this feeling some time or the other in their life during a writer's block. And I feel that you stole that feeling of frustration and desperate helplessness, gave it shape and put it in words for us.
I loved the use of the words 'white' and 'naked' here. It almost suggests a kind of innocence; as though its reasserting that it plays no part in our frustration and that its not the reason we are doubting our very purpose in life. Its almost a mockery, if we think about it that way.
The words also suggest an absolute 'clean' emptiness, giving us an idea of how devoid of words our narrator is.
These lines were so very relatable. I could imagine the narrator - staring hard at the silent challenge posed by the blank, white paper. Again, I feel that this is an universal experience that all writers have to go through. I mean, if you haven't had a staring competition with a blank page at least once or twice, then I am sure that you are the one doing something wrong.
Overall, this was extremely relatable and simple and it quite effectively captures those nagging doubts, those silent frustrations that are always raging havoc in your head.
Keep writing and have a great day!
Wesh! I know this is old but I manged to stumble across it so I'm going to try to critique it. Yeah, I know this is old and you probably don't care but here goes.
White paper; naked
I like your word use. No complaints.
Daring me to fill it up
You captured a writer's mood perfectly in 7 syllables. How?
Daring me to write.
You use daring too much now.
OVERALL: Great haiku. Love it XD..
-Jade Lotus
Short and sweet - way to go. Even though most haiku are vague and somewhat detatched, this one is full of feeling. That a paper can dare you to write, or dare you to do anything, really, is an awfully refreshing way to phrase things.
Also, you used a semi-colon. I adore you.
I'm not a particular fan of Haikus, but that one was totally true. And by the way, Firestarter, can you put the link to that Haiku thred on this thread? I feel like Haikuing suddenly.
Here's two thirds of a Haiku directed to that poem.
Soz, I really am. [Five syllables]
But that was really crazy. [Seven syllables]
Uuuuuuh, dunno... maybe I'll write the rest later.
^_^ I think it's good. I like how you used the word naked and not blank or something.
wow, I really liked that
I see what you mean about the naked white paper "daring" you to write.
It's like it's just sitting there, staring you in the face, mocking you.
I just noticed that I'm the first person to write a review in about four years.
That's so typical of me, I never go with the flow! haha
It's cool.
I saw a really funny topic on another forum where they did a whole topic with everyone speaking in haikus. Haha. We should do that here.
I agree with Incandescence. Haikus are fun to read, but you can only agree or disagree, you can't critique. Of course you can relate, too, like with this one...
I can relate. I don't think anyone can really give critiques of a haiku, though. They're too short for emotion and before you've said all that's needed to be said, you're done.
i like it. i guess mostly because like any writer i've felt that. and i like how you decided on a short format because there isn't a lot that needs to be said for another writer to understand.
but i guess its cool.