he opened my eyes opened my thighs kissed me sucked my soul banished my fear bit my ear touched me ate me alive tore out my heart spread me apart burned me holding me close pulled me through him i never knew him
--I think that you could have really added a little more emotion.. maybe a little more imagery. A few words here and there.. tweaking any grammical errors. Adding a little more emotion.. a little more image of how you felt... where you were.. what was around.. what you notice most.. things that grab a reader and screams, "HEY!"
Other than that...
You are a very brave writer to write about such a thing, most people would not and for that I admire your courage.
----Emotions would add more to this fact though.
Keep writing because you seem like to have a lot to write about.
Hayley
Points: 1919
Reviews: 55
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