chichi

This was really good, congratulations! I don't actually know the story of the Boy in Striped Pyjamas (which you convinced me to look up later) but this does it credit! ...

Wow! I was unsure of how you would carry on the story in this new environment, but you did it! (That last sentence may not have made sense, so to ...

Great poem! Lots of emotion and it feels real. The rhymes are mostly smooth, too. We can be anywhere just you and me. We can go anywhere just wait and ...

This is a great poem! However, you often have issues with the rhythm in this poem - that's the syllables and how they match to the number of syllables in ...

Beautiful ending! I love the way you describe nature and how you are talking TO the subject, not ABOUT the subject. And twenty Oaks could not possess The beauty of ...

This is pretty good. There are a couple of mistakes, however. not I. If you're going to have this as part of the previous sentence please keep it with the ...

Hey, welcome to YWS! May I remind you that you are expected to do 2 reviews per every piece of work you post? Or if you didn't know that, now ...

At the beginning it is quite misleading to say '63 because people think it's 1963. Tessitore is right with all the mistakes so I won't point them out again. The ...

It's "vulnerable". How it begun "Began" and needs a colon or at least a period at the end. It is an introductory sentence, after all. Once thier lived young couple. ...

Just by the way, it's "bear with me". This was really well written, great job! Roy stared at me, his eyes like stones being thrown at my head. This is ...

This is really good, but it's slow moving. It is impossible to tell how far apart the time the story is set to the time he discovered his girlfriend cheating ...

I've never been to America, although the bombardment of American influence on TV, in books and just about everywhere tells me that your portrayal is quite accurate, although it may ...

StarDuster is right, there is room for much more description. This is from Persephone and the Four Seasons, right? Beautifully retold! The description of the people is fantastic. I can ...

This isn't really a story, it's more of a reflection. Instead of posting a blurb, why don't you write a chapter of this story and post it up instead? It ...

I like the twist at the end, where they're in a mental institution. In the beginning, you make it sound like a cinema, but if they are screaming in a ...