blackbird12

Greetings, erinlyric! Retro already pointed most of the major issues with this piece, but I found a few problems grammar problems. I'll get right down to it. When the sun ...

Hi there, Sassykat! Most of the nitpicks have already been pointed out, so I won't reiterate them, I'll just give you some general advice. Overall, this poem is afflicted with ...

Hi, Warrior Princess! I'll get right down to it. Look into the eyes of innocence, Staring down the barrel of the gun. The stark contrast between the image of innocence ...

Hi, lily! :smt003 I enjoyed reading this, but I will point out what irked me... he seemed perfect from a distance - much like the memory of a moment only ...

First of all the title is very good as it immediately catches my attention, though I do think that the way the title is phrased in the poem, "concrete wings," ...

Another haunting piece, almost as powerful in its impact as Mirror Girl! Again, the title immediately pulls me in, and your rhythm is great. Occasionally I found myself a little ...

I have to agree with Firestarter... Poems like this are a dime a dozen. I've said this a million times, but rhyming is soooo overrated. It's really falling out of ...

I agree that this poem is memorable because it takes an unusual opinion on the nature of stars. So very good work on the creativity there. The rhyme doesn't feel ...

Hey! Really nice work, I can't find much wrong with it at all, honestly. The title is awesome and immediately brings me to attention. I'm not a huge fan of ...

Hi there! First off: you should separate with each paragraph with a blank line. Makes it easier to read on the computer screen. :) I could feel the tears at ...

Not bad. There's just a few problems with this. Your rhyme scheme is all over the place. I think rhyming is sooo overrated in poetry--it's all about the rhythm, which ...

First of all, I have to confess, this is going to be more of a total gush-fest than a critique, because I cannot find anything wrong with this! Wonderful rhythm, ...

I enjoyed this poem quite a bit. I'm not usually an enormous fan of rhyming, but it didn't feel too forced here. My only problems are the lack of punctuation ...

I agree with the other two reviewers that this poem is definitely very original and I also very much like how the number of syllables increases with each line. Though ...

I must agree, the rhyme really does cripple this poem. And you do lose the rhythm by the end of the poem, which is shame. Rhyming is so overrated, I ...