ballerina13

The story is coming on beautifully.I love how much emotion you put into your character. It seems to be very fast paced though in my opinion. Slow down and describe ...

I am chills! This was a great way to start the story. I made me want to read on desperately. Your piece has great voice and I can see it ...

This is coming along very well. You added more depth to the character and the climax. Where you left off it made me want to read more. I cannot wait ...

This is so sad! I want to cry! Okay... well here goes. :arrow: MC Your main character is coming on splendidly. I feel as if I know here. It is ...

I really enjoyed this. I thought that you developed your characters very well, emotionally, that is. I feel though that you could have given more description of you MC and ...

I found this story intriguing. I feel that you described what was happening very well. I could see the ghetto and the tiny apartment quite clearly. I have one suggestion ...

Wow! This was wonderful! Amazing composition and depth. I loved how you went through the stages of life, facing the past and worrying over the future is what everyone goes ...

This was good. I found that it has a lot of emotion and depth within it. Great job there. This poem creates a picture for me. I can see the ...

I found this very fast paced and rushed. It was also very short but that is alright. You could add some more detail such as what does the mansion look ...

:D I found this very interesting. I am left wondering what time period this is in though. I think maybe in the time period of Jane Austen or even in ...

This was very well written. The message came across beautifully. It had great imagery and depth. I felt as if I knew Mary right from the beginning. I really enjoyed ...

:elephant: In my opinion I believe that you should most definitely continue pursing this. I was left wanting to read on. The mystery of it all is very well put ...

I found this a wonderful, natural piece. It had great imagery. I could see the tulips pushing their way through the mulch. I saw the birds flying. Great job with ...

I really enjoyed this piece. It was written well and was entertaining. Now! on to the comments! I feel that you could have describe things more. London is such a ...

I enjoyed this very much. The concept is nice and sweet. You had a good flow and rhythm to your words. Good job. I do have one suggestion though. I ...