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bailecielo

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Empty Mind

    I just wrote a poem somewhat about writer's block as well. I was a bit concerned about the inconsistency of the rhyme scheme, but reading it a second time, I ...

    Apr 4, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The changes within

    I like that this poem has some depth in it, some sort of social relevance if I'm reading it right? - a good break from all the love poetry. I ...

    Apr 4, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Nothing Rhymes With Purple

    What can i say? I love rhyme especially when it has some humor in it. I would just have to suggest that you keep a consistent meter scheme so that ...

    Feb 9, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: First Love

    I feel your sentiments, dear! It's a common occurrence for friends to get attracted to one another. I guess a lot of people can relate to this. Perhaps you can ...

    Oct 18, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I've Been There Before

    I like the structure and the consistency of rhyme but you might want to work on the flow of rhythm. Try counting syllables or perhaps read it out loud; that ...

    Oct 18, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: It Ends Tonight

    I got intrigued to read this poem initially because of the title. I was prepared to comment that you change it because it's the title of a mainstream song. But ...

    Oct 18, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Alone

    Structure-wise, not typical, so I like it. The concept was vague, but had a lot of emotion as well. Punctuation marks could help though; they'll make statements stand out more. ...

    Sep 7, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Lily

    Overall, nice job! Your topic is quite unique. It's a good break from all the love poems, so I really appreciate this one. :) But of course, I have some ...

    Sep 1, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Dancers

    just BEAUTIFUL! :D sorry, i can't find anything to criticize... love yah bf! :D

    Aug 15, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Neverending Love Song

    A friend (KnightleyAngel) told me to read this one. Glad she did, cause i fell in LOVE with it! :P I keep reading it over and over again. This one ...

    Aug 5, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: A Splendid Agony

    Another nice one dear, you deserve this: *claps*! I love the imagery, that it almost amused me at first. I had no idea where it would lead to. The twist ...

    Aug 5, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: This Pen is Retired, II

    Love it bf! :D I'm trying out for the Heights. I'm making it a mission to print your works there! They're all so awesome! :D I love that it's now ...

    Jul 8, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Funky Rhyme Scheme?

    Hi! I just wanted to thank you for the review (Heaving Ardor), but I looked through your portfolio (you're new, right? welcome to yws!!!) and saw this! :D It was ...

    Jul 8, 2009
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Time has Overtaken Us

    Didn't sound forced to me, dear! :D Love it! I like this so0o0o0o much: At least we've failed at nothing, For we've never tried; And so no perjured hope, Has ...

    Jun 10, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Racism.

    First of all, I credit you for writing a poem of substance! I love that it has a social impact and that it get's people to think. Anyway, every good ...

    Jun 10, 2009


The very worst use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all.
— Benjamin Tregoe