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Cheers guys! Liz - I think I want to keep the ending as it is (impact is good, I reckon) but I think you're right about how it cuts off. ...

You weave a better magic than such a sinner deserves, as usual; thank you for your help, I shall put it to use.

Cheers, m'dear, these lyrics have been buried for quite some time :) I'd completely forgotten about them, truth be told; I should dig them out and finish that music, really.

You know plenty, dearie, so hauld yer wheesht! That felt...off. Looked up uncertainly. I don't like the word uncertainly. Well :) that is probably the most meaningful word in the ...

There's a great quote that says "Einstein would turn over in his grave; not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded!" That was the inspiration, pretty much.

Oh darlin', you're just too good. ;)

Heh, strange. Y'know, I liked it. A surprise.

... it's a haiku - it can't really get any longer without destroying the point of the poem. Look it up here if you need help understanding.

those who live in Darkness ... have seen a great light! Everything else has been said, really. Merry Christmas; hope to see you back with another piece soon.

Thanks sab - I also owe you an indepth critique that you asked for, of which I have about half writte. I wanted to give it a good going over, ...

Good writers aren't original. Originality is a lie. Or perhaps I would have said: originality ... is the wellspring of good poetry. a poem ... with no originality is just ...

However, I will say this about cliches (and this is not a defense for my poem, just an observation). Everyone seems to be really afraid of them, Not at all! ...

Stress not, what is life for but the making and learning from of mistakes? Look forward to seeing more of you.

In other news, I want to have Brad's babies. Alas, the gammer and line breaks shall always stay because it is my philosopy that poetry is not bound by format ...

That's cool; you rock either way. And I was finally worthy of a critique from Brad! Truly I have made it... Anyway :) thanks to everyone for your input; it ...