ashleylee

Amazing! Great description with it. I could picture everything with ease. For your first work, it was awesome! Way, WAY better than most of my work! Great Job! :)

This is a very good piece. I liked how you repeated sarah's eyes in a lot of the sentences. Also, it flowed really well and grabbed my attention from the ...

I agree that the title was eyecatching. Yours was the first one that I wanted to read! About the poem, overall, I liked it. You definitly could feel what the ...

Wow! I really enjoyed this. You have excellent story telling skills. I couldn't stop reading it! Such a cool ending too. I've never read that poem but you explained enough ...

I think you could cut out "run down my cheeks". That messes up the rythem of it and when I was reading, it was hard to go to the next ...

I think I may understanding what you are trying to get across here. It is about a girl who wants this boy to notice her but all he sees is ...

I think you have a pretty good steady thought going with this but maybe try to start a line with something other than wondering. I think it makes it too ...

I thought this was really interesting. I had to think about what you were trying to say here for a little bit and I believe that's what the beauty of ...

Very descriptive and I loved the words you used to describe everything. I would love for you to make this longer but I think it's good if you keep it ...

It's kind of wierd at the end how he says he wants to keep her as if she was a stray puppy he found on the street and brought it ...

Okay, I think you have a really solid beginning right now. Me personally like suspenseful beginnings and this was a VERY suspenseful one. Also, the age thing is kind of ...

Okay, I'm sorry but the grammer was too hard to read through. Once you fix that maybe more people will read it. Also, I think you have a pretty good ...

Great! You actually put this on here kels! As I've already read this when you printed it our for me at school (remember the printer incident! lol) and I've told ...

It was a pretty good ending but I think if there was anything you could fix, it would be including Brittney more in Emily's diary entries. She was her best ...

Hey, I think you did a really good job of writing this for being a guy. I mean, and take this from a girl's perspective, that I think you didn't ...