ashleylee

Umm....WOW! Your descriptions blew my mind. *stares with mouth a-gap into the computer screen* Seriously, you can write! Everything in this was done perfectly. All I can say is you ...

Okay, nit-picks first 'kay :) He loved animals. His hands had held water pythons and turtles, ladybugs and dragonflies had crawled on his hands. This should be put into two ...

I found this to be a very strong piece. It flowed well and it was easy to understand what was happening in your poem. The only thing I advise you ...

Yeah, this is kind of a story. Not going to lie to you there. But I do think you have some potential to make this into more of a poem. ...

So beautiful. I agree with aestar101 that which ever girl receives this poem is one lucky girl! :) You just write so well! Oh, and I can see that you ...

I only saw one thing in the whole of your story: A man sat staring out of it, his hands clutching the sill desperately, turning knuckles white. You should add ...

You can definetly tell this comes from personal experiences because you put your heart into this and you can feel the emotion in this. Sometimes I felt like you were ...

I thought this was a really nice piece. You really expressed the main idea for this poem. The only thing I caught was that sometimes, I felt as though you ...

This was good. I think you have a nice start here but maybe expanding this idea into something more signifigant might be a good idea. I mean, I think it ...

You should totally expand this. Describe more than tell us what is going on. Maybe read it out loud or look up things that could help with this story to ...

I'm not really sure about this one. I mean, the first read, I thought it was good. But I read through a couple more times...and now I'm not so sure ...

Simple, short, yet powerful. I think expanding this would be a wise decision but I still like it short like this too. Sometimes shorter poems can make the biggest impacts! ...

You have a good start here. I agree with Jasmine Hart on this one and suggest you read this out loud to yourself a couple of times. That way you ...

This was a good poem. The ending made it worth it to read. You held the reades attention, which is always a good things. Also, I loved the emotion in ...

I agree with kioneslayer that this should be a bit longer. I think you have a good start here but you need to expand your thinking. I liked how you ...