alleycat13

It's simple, and not overly poetic, but it's true. can not be heard, It should be "cannot". It's one word. It happens again later too. The repetition of the first ...

Everyone has already hit on all the typos. I couldn't find any other ones. Two things that bothered me. But the figure closest to the ground made a movement with ...

I'll be honest--when I think of poetry, this is not what I imagine. But, as we all have different stories to tell, I shall try and critique this poem. The ...

Wow. This really got to me. Folded paper gently brushed against the palm of my hand Okay, so, when I reached this point, I was like--what? I, the reader, was ...

This is a nice piece. The only thing that threw me off was the use of past tense The past threw me off too. You should just keep it in ...

I can tell there's a lot of sincerity in this poem. I think that nearly very line is good, but there are a couple that I think could be better. ...

I see that you've fixed the other typos, but here's a grammar mistake. No other love to who I might be turning, Oops! "who" should be "whom" because it is ...

Cool. This, like Poisoness said, is really well written. I just caution you one on using not using too many phrases in some of your sentences. They climbed up onto ...

It's very simple, but I think it's pretty good. In the beginning, you keep saying Carlos, and then you suddenly remember there's such a thing as pronouns. You should mix ...

I like this alot. The description is powerful; the story is sad. In a good way of course. he says every thing's fine should be "everything". It's one word. The ...

There isn't a how lot for me to go on here (this is a short chapter), but I definitely think it has potential. Critiques--In the first paragraph, every sentence is ...

The Chronicles of Narnia are some of the best books I've ever read. I can reread them over and over and each time I get some more out of them. ...

There are some very nice emotions in this poem. The content is very real. But, as this is "dramatic" poetry, you may want to use some imagery, some visuals. Also, ...

Pretty much everything I could say has already been said. This poem is there, but it seems lack substance. It's a nice little narrative, but, of what, I don't know. ...