Pretty much everything I could say has already been said. This poem is there, but it seems lack substance. It's a nice little narrative, but, of what, I don't know.
Some inconsistencies I'd like to point out--->
If something was afraid, it would not have "warily wandered for shelter". It would actively seek out shelter, not wander to it.
I also don't like that for most of the poem, only the "fragile being" is there. Then you have "All watched...". That sudden shift from just one thing in the story to a bunch of unexplained others really threw me off.
Don't take this and the other reviews harshly. You have potential. Use it to create a better poem.[/quote]
Points: 890
Reviews: 99
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