ZanyPlebeian

This was a vanity piece. Do we really need another poem about how hard it is to be a writer? We are all in the same situation.

I enjoyed this piece. The tone of it is very "poetic" to me, and yet it seems fresh and new. Good job.

No, it's in the "Narrative Poetry" forum.

An interesting take on a love/sex poem. I like it. I'm not sure why it's all in italics, though. The final stanza is brilliant.

This is a very complex poem, but I really liked it. The only thing that could really be changed would be that complexity; some of the thoughts/ideas extend on line ...

This has become one of my favorite poems on the site. I've read it again and again. The potency of it is captured in the final line. That final line ...

I think (and hope) you were going for humor here, but I didn't find it funny. I think any kid in my English class could have written it in five ...

The title was a good one for the piece. I liked reading it, but it wasn't terribly fresh to me.

I really enjoyed this. My only advice is to not over-write it at points. "Sweet susurrus secrets are heard through the tacit night air" comes to mind.

I enjoyed the 2nd through 4th haikus, but the first one struck me as odd. It was as if you were telling us something very obvious and I, personally, didn't ...

"tinted teenage arrogant" I may just be weird, but I don't like the word "teenage" except in the rarest of places. And this isn't one of them, for me. Otherwise, ...

Incandescence- Part of the idea of this poem, especially the final stanza, is that it is inconsistent. The world, especially the world of the mind , is often very contradictory ...

Wow! this was really refreshing to me. You took a great idea and expanded it with excellent words. Great job.

"A goodnight for you epic lies" I think this should either be "your epic lies" or "you, epic lies"

Beyond excellent. There are no substantial crits I can give, but I found something small: "Your lashes brush aside you demons," Should this perhaps be "your" demons? Otherwise, absolutely perfect.