ZaBodMoger

I shall start with a few edits. "I once had the BEAST bedroom in the whole house..." I figure you either meant best or were attempting teen slang in which ...

The sci-fi tag pulled me in. It's not what kept me reading. I am gonna get the nit picks done first really quickly "He was in a park. He sat ...

Okay, I am gonna get the nit picky stuff out of the way first. "I was laying on hard cold pavement." Switch hard and cold around, it flows better. weather ...

I wish this was longer because I didn't want it to end so soon. I loved how effectively you communicated the subject of this poem rising out of the ashes ...

Stopped just short of telling us what the hell is going on. XD Oh well, its all good. I like Raymonds concern for his sister; it gives a decent sense ...

"She walked up to me Frail and weak Looked me in the eye But refused to speak Yet, I knew what she said. She reassured me, she was still there. ...

You have a very interesting concept here. I like the disembodied voice of the heart talking to flo, and the demons stealing people from our world to enslave or to ...

I love your imagery in this poem, and the sense that the person is not only dancing with them selves but with the whole world. with the rain and the ...

This is a good catastrophe. I do find my self wishing I knew a bit about the girl and the town before this happened. I felt the reactions were genuine, ...

I feel Erika needs a little more development then she has. Aside from the fact that she just transfigured a light bulb I don't really see much of a reason ...

Raymond is an interesting character. He's kind, just kinda knows stuff, and is being pursued by strange people. I also like your school environment fairly well. I felt the bullying ...

Intriguing. I am interested to see where this goes, how you will develop Miranda, and what role the glass ball will play in this story. I also really want to ...

Good job making us curious of whats to come soon. I feel like you could have spent a little more time developing Elipsa though, I found my self wondering why ...

Its a very good start with a good amount of detail about the world they are in without getting lost in it. I like the use of Voldemort name as ...

NEED MORE! Death under arrest and some mystery women who is immune to his powers? Fantastic!