Writersdomain

Thank you for your suggestions, ohhewwo. It is very much appreciated

Thanks for the suggestions... Do you think I should just ditch the rhyming, niteowl and make it free verse? I think it would be perhaps a little more flowing without ...

This was really cool. I loved your lines about how "I give you my___" and you go on from there. That was a really neat way of setting up. I ...

Thanks for the suggestions

All right, here is the original for anyone who'd like it see it: A cold and desolate bell tower Rusted bells clanging together in bitter defeat The rolling waves lap ...

I recently discovered you can edit poems, so here it is edited with all of your suggestions...

Thank you Dreami for your ideas. Yeah, I noticed some of the rhythm when I reread it. Thanks you very much

Thanks again for the suggestions. I heavily cut it again and changed that stanza for you, niteowl

Thanks for the honesty and suggestions Incandescence. I appreciate it

Thanks for your reply, Monkey, but I was wondering if you could point hte subplot out to me. That would help me revise it. Gracias

There we are. I cut it a little. Is that better, Firestarter?

I fixed that 'heaven' thing for you, Firestarter. Thanks to everyone

I thought this was very good. I love how you use your similes and adjectives. It makes your writing very unique. Soem of the irregular line breaks made it a ...

Thank you very much for your suggestions/criticism everyone. They mean a lot to me. Yeah, this is a revised version of a poem I wrote a long time ago so ...

My aim is for this not be your standard child abuse poem. I am hopeful it will be different. Any suggestions/criticism? I welcome it gladly!