You.
You planted the ember of white-hot anger inside me.
You fanned it to life,
Feeding it with an almost imperceptible breeze.
Slowly, the fire grew.
Now it is a raging inferno
Consuming me without leaving a trace,
Eating at me from within.
But I’m not gone yet
Nor will I leave until I get my revenge.
I leave you everything.
I give you my hate.
May you live forever more with its weight on your shoulders.
I give you my pain.
With every spasm that racks my body,
May it be magnified a thousand-fold in yours.
I give you my senses.
May you smell the rancid stench of death,
And may your eyes behold the searing light,
The light of my inner fire.
Lastly, I give you my life.
May its black stain lie forever more on the palms of your hands.
This is it.
There is no more to me now.
You.
You are no more to me now.
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Canary word: Present
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
This was really cool. I loved your lines about how "I give you my___" and you go on from there. That was a really neat way of setting up.
I have no criticism... I can just say that I love it! Awesome!
Overall, I loved it. Just a few little things. I didn't like the one word-line at the beginning. Also you should think about breaking up those really long lines.
What can I say? I loved it!
Wow! Go Skye Demon! This is so emotional!
I can relate as well.
However, this poem started out sort of slow but after the first stanza, the pace picked up and it was enjoyable to read. Overall, good poem.
I can completely relate to the emotion behind this piece. It's a pretty powerful message.
This is the only part I had trouble with. Its really really unoriginal. I know anger is compared to fire for a reason...but it's SO overdone.
I really like the last two lines of the poem, its the strongest part of the piece. I'd like to see more of the same pointed, focused, white angry energy throughout the poem.
Cheers!
Keep up the good work!
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Wow. Amazing. I love it!!
Very powerful. I've felt a hatred similar to that before.. I can tell you, that's an accurate description. If only I hadn't deleted the poems I wrote about.. him.. Grar.