Wolf

Hey Emily! :D I'm back again to review your revised edition. Blood. Sweat. Tears. Pain. It all falls down when we let that ball hit the floor. It only has ...

Hey Jared! *smacks head* And I thought I could arrive before the other critiquers! *points at JabberHut and yells 'crit hog!'* Anyways. Forgive me if I repeat anything, but these ...

Thank-you so much everyone for the comments! Yeah... I realize that I kind of posted this without thinking about it before, and, well, I shouldn't have. I don't think I'll ...

Ummm.... I was going to critique this, seeing as I owe you two reviews, but all it says is 'i'... Oh well. I'll find something else in your portfolio. Cheers, ...

Thank-you so much, Jared! That is exactly what I'll do for the 'green trees white snow red blood' line! It totally fits. :D Anyways, thanks for the critique! I really ...

Now that you've edited it, I've found a couple more things to nit-pick: :) A perfectly angled small white and black face, bright mahogany red body and delicate black paws. ...

Thanks for sticking up for me, Sureal. :) And 4uiwouldie, 'ashen clouds hang pregnant with rain' is a metaphor/figure of speech.

Ummm... Well, I can see that you are new to YWS. And I hate to break it to you, but 'omg ur lyk not a vry good writer' is far ...

>>> Critique Two of Five >>> Deuce's heart jumped to at least four times its normal speed. She cast a startled glance from the wolves on the hill, down to ...

>>> Critique Two of Five >>> Deuce's heart jumped to at least four times its normal speed. She cast a startled glance from the wolves on the hill, down to ...

Thank-you so much, everyone! After the nit-picky things have been corrected, I'm going to take your advice and describe more mundane things as beautiful. Come to think of it, that's ...

Thanks chocoholic! I love YWS - two crits already and this has been up for what, half an hour? :D

Thank-you! I'll fix that right away! :)

Thanks Vivi! I'll work on that! :P

Thank-you Ning! I'll definitely take into consideration what you have said - except for the school thing. She's not at school...what made you think that?! :lol: And I'll work on ...