Wolf

Thanks Gryph! I'm glad that the second person works. :) - Camille

I stole it from someone? Umm... no, I don't think I did. I didn't take this idea, characters, plot, setting etc from anyone else. What do you mean?

Hey Fangala! :oops: Sorry it's taken me so long to crit this... I had left the barren valley behind and was now wading through waist-deep grass under a sparkling sun. ...

Thanks you guys! Kyte >> Yes, it was intentional. =) shanan >> Haha, thank-you. I did it... erm, during math class. XD - Camille

GG >> Thanks! Clichés are very annoying. :wink: Fairy >> :D I'll fix those things right away! I really appreciate your review. Yay! I love YWS - two reviews already! ...

Whoa! Before you post things on YWS, please break it up into paragraphs. It makes it look less like a menacing wall of text and more like... a story. PM ...

Here she is! (This is really off-topic, but oh well.) What kind of mutt is your dog?

Hey Fangala! :oops: Sorry it's taken me so long to crit this... I had left the barren valley behind and was now wading through waist-deep grass under a sparkling sun. ...

No prob! :D I noticed another thing though: I lifted my head from my shoulders and breathed in, slowly opening my oak brown eyes. I thought her eyes were ice ...

Thanks you guys! =) Wow, I'd kind of forgotten about this piece. But now that you have brought it back to my attention, it shall be worked on! canis >> ...

Thank-you all for your comments! :) ThanatosPrinciple >> I got the title 'Master of the Forum' for having 1000 posts. And you can find your saved drafts here. And thank-you ...

Actually, you can start a sentence with 'and'. :wink: I find it can be very powerful is used correctly, and in this case, it is. Some people use it for ...

Thanks, BBB! :D I'll go fix those things right away! ... and posting more on 'Need a crit?' won't be any trouble! xD Cheers, Camille

I think you are ready to move on now to Chapter Two. :) ... once you fix some tiny things: You should avoid using numbers in your writing unless you ...

Thank-you for your comments, everyone! I'm thinking of using this in my novel, and if I do, I will definitely be adding character development and all. But for the time ...