VousEsEtonnant

-_- woulda flowed better without rhyme. Too much restriction. But that's the price I pay for pairing up with someone. Dont get be wrong, B is an uh may zing ...

Oh gee thanks guys! I didnt see that misspelling. Of course, you guys saw my mistakes. Thanks!

Well then. This is really good. I think the only agitating thing is the first part. The sun is repeated, and it dulls the opening. Otherwise its good. Keep me ...

*laughs shakily* my chest is aching really bad now. You two did really really great. I hope u guys win something, because it deserves nothing less.

You know that happened to me. Except the girl cut me off entirely.

I agree with everythin. Above except I siuldnt change the line about laying more than wofds etc. Brilliant job.

i would change absolutly nothing. wich is upsetting, because now i have nothing to say. haha. it really is great. ive always been thinking about things likethis, and you know ...

true, we all have barriers. i kinda disagree with your overall theme, but brilliant job anyways! i would only take out the ---

*thumbs up*

True to the fullest power, matt. But remember this; When you are all alone, crying, broken, and reduced to nothing, it is our experiences that drive us to help you ...

Thnks guys! And to all of you, the choppiness was intentional. When I explain difficult thing, I pause alot and stuff. I broke the lines so you could hear my ...

Hehehehe this is great byou feally are pretty good at rhyme. Thats my favorite form actually. This is really really good, but (maybe im just stupid) what specificly is this ...

I see serious potential (excuse misspellings) here. Try adding commas where the speakers would pause, but thats all I can offer.

I felt like you had stalked me and wrote down my life. :D great job!

this is a very good poem.. only question would be, what is it that she knows? but otherwise, fantastic job, and keep writing!