z

Young Writers Society



Once You Were My Best Friend

by HelloKitty87


* I wrote this poem thinking about the one person I once called my friend.. She and I treated each other like sisters and did almost everything together.. We would spend the entire day writing letters to each other during class when the teacher wasn't looking.. We shared each others secrets and regardless of how bad our problems were, we always found a a good solution, but as time went by, she began to drift away from me and became a total stranger to me.. she pretended she and I never knew each other like two strangers walking past each other without one word being said.


I once called you my best friend
and you called me your sister, that
meant a great deal to me. Since
the day we met, we didn't talk as
much during that time. back
then, I didn't consider you my best
friend, you and I were classmates,
nothing more.
The years went by and We finally met face
to face our first year in high school. You were
the first to recognize me after all the years we've
been apart since I left. I was so amazed and couldn't
believe you were right infront of my own eyes.. my
former classmate and I reunited again in high school.
Although you didn't last in school as long as I did, we
still kept in touch with each other writing letters to one
another and talked over the phone once and a while
during the break. After that, things were beginning
to change.. after your last letter to me, you began to drift
away from me and everytime I would see you in public, you
were a complete stranger to me. Everytime I passed by you,
you pretended like you never even knew me and if I had the
chance to talk to you again, I would like to know a good reason
why you've acted the way you did and what have I done to make
you hate me. If I did something that upset you, I beg you to please
tell me so I'll know the main reason why you've been avoiding me.
I don't think it's fair being treated like a stranger when all the times
I've been there when you needed me the most, I was there no matter
how late it was. When you needed someone to listen to you complain,
I was up for it and I didn't make a single fuss about it. What really
hurt me the most is that you were never there for me, you figured
I could've handled the whole situation on my own knowing how bad it
really was. The person I once called my best friend is no longer in my
life and If Im not considered one of her friends, neither is she.


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Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:54 pm
HelloKitty87 says...



Hahahaha yeah I guess it must be so.




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Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:03 pm
MissRockers wrote a review...



WOW....you don't even KNOW how much I can relate to this!!!! My once best friend now treats me like nothing....we're complete strangers, even though we're in two classes together, and sit together at lunch. Wonderful work. And also, as for the structure of this, it doesn't feel like a poem to me. I can't quite pick out what it would be quite honestly though!!! But, yeah, it's a lot like a well written paragraph.




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Fri Apr 08, 2011 1:51 am
Fran94 wrote a review...



Hello! Your poem was quite interesting. I like how I can easily feel your emotions and experience that feeling. For me, I think poetry should just give the reader a raw feeling, not an imitation of the feeling. Your poem causes the reader to feel the raw feeling of pain and sadness.

I could really relate to your poem. However, this girl and I were just getting to know each other. Until, we couldn't meet each other anymore since I couldn't get into the same class that she was in. For a long time I wondered whether she really wanted to be my friend or was she just being nice to me. Then after thinking about it, I came to a conclusion: She probably wanted to be my friend. Oh, well. I'll never know.

Anyway, back to your poem, I have to agree the poem's structure is unusual. It doesn't have the structure of a poem. This poem actually is more prose than poetry. If you look at poetry by Walt Whitman, Emily Dickinson, or Marianne Moore, the structure of their poems is very similar. Normally, a poem consists of verses such as,

The penny fell off the ground.
I lost more of my money
The whole world started spinning.

I started changing internally.
Wings grew on my back-
And I grew a tail.

These are verses and each verse consists of two or more lines. If you look at the example above, you will see that each verse has three lines in it. Poetry is usually modeled this way. Although, your poem's structure is alright. You could model your poems the usual way if you want. Your poem kinda reminds me of the poetry of the Beat poets. The reason is your poem is personal and reveals your private life. That's how the poetry of the Beat poets is.

Anyway, I think you should definitely keep writing poetry. Your poetry is quite interesting. I hope you do keep writing poetry! :)




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Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:29 pm
HelloKitty87 says...



Yikes. sorry to hear that. it must've been really hard for you. its hard to find friends are true and honest, but above all, they're always there to lend a hand when we need it the most. so what's your story regarding the comment you just left me?




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Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:58 pm
VousEsEtonnant says...



You know that happened to me. Except the girl cut me off entirely.




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Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:47 am
HelloKitty87 says...



Ohh oh ok thank you. I've got to have atleast 80 points to start off with a new one cuz I barely have 51 points.. honestly I wish we didn't have to earn more points to write, some people like to write more and more til their head hurts.




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Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:19 am
mangawolf wrote a review...



So sad, I understand the feeling. My only problem is, it doesn't seem like a poem to me, in the format it's in. Just a poetically written paragraph. But it has lots of feeling and emotion to it. Keep writing! :)




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Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:01 am
HelloKitty87 says...



Thank you so much for the comment.. Im so glad you liked it, it came to me so fast and I wrote it down before I forget lol. about the lines getting longer, that was intentionally. I was aiming to make the lines shorter as I wrote it but for some reason they just got longer. thanks again for the encouragement, you'll be seeing more of my work and I'm looking foward to seeing yours.




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Tue Apr 05, 2011 3:14 am
mybrokenreality wrote a review...



Hey Kitty :)

So I like it. It helps that I can relate to your poetry. Now your style is unlike most that I've read. Its not structured the way I'm used to but I think it adds a nice effect.

When I read through it, it first hit me as a normally written paragraph broken in odd places. I reread it a few times to get a feel of the poetic way it was intended to be interpreted. You know what I like? The way that the lines progressively got longer as the poem went on. Did you do that on purpose or did it happen accidentally?

Anyways, quite a lengthy poem. But I love lengthy poems! So overall the poem did touch me, I could feel your emotion. Keep it up, I'd like to see more of your work :)

~M.B.R.




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Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:28 am
Doxie00 wrote a review...



Wow. So soryy for you :( Maybe she had a reason for what she's doing? :/ eitherway your poem really touched me. I loved the way i could feel your pain. :)





Beware of advice—even this.
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