Via

Hi Gahks-- I think a few things need to be done with this: -It needs to be less storylike. Less wordy. Less full sentences. -It needs to be more poemy. ...

Hi Weather-- I have two great suggestions here that will drastically change your poem in a great way: 1. Use punctuation in more than just the last stanza. Seriously, use ...

Hi lakegirls-- My biggest and really only pet peeve of this is that it isn't poetry. It's kind of hinted on being prose poetry, but really what it sounds like ...

Hi Crying Rain-- Well, there is nothing actually...[i]wrong[/] with this, per se. But the issue herein lies in the fact that it's boring and tired. Mostly, the fault is that ...

"OK, one-two-three." Alana [s]said[/s] counted down, and in unison [s]her[/s] she and Courtney winced once their knives swiped their skin. Courtney sighed and picked up her blood rag.

Hi Adna-- First, I like the swirly form, not many people play about with concrete forms on here so it's kind of refreshingly different. However, the words in the form ...

Hi cathy-- Well, I wasn't overly excited about this. It has some imagery, which is good...but I feel like there isn't enough in it to make a real difference for ...

Hi Adna-- Unfortunately, Em is right. There really isn't anything here that hasn't been said before in a better way. My biggest pet peeve, though, is that you have a ...

Hi Floyd-- Reading this it sounds more like lyrics to me, especially with the rhyming and the repetition of the final two lines. Really, though, I'd like to see some ...

Hi Tania-- Welcome to YWS! Please take a moment to look over the Rules & Guides . We do ask that you make two reviews for everyone one piece of ...

I really, really love the message in this! Really, it's amazing! A couple suggestions: Take out the "you" everywhere and make it "I". Poetry is a very personal thing, it's ...

Hi Night-- Welcome to YWS! Please take a look at the Rules & Guides . We do ask that you do two reviews of others work before posting every one ...

Hello Idering-- I think I have told you this before, but just incase I haven't I'll repeat myself: You have to have punctuation in a poem like this. Without it ...

Hello peter-- Welcome to the YWS! Please take a look at the Rules & Guides . We do ask that you make 2 critiques/reviews of others work before posting every ...

Hi souldier-- Well, this is kind of awkward. I severely missing the point if there is one, why should we care about someone abusing a mime? And why a mime? ...